Guys, what would you think if a girl turned down the 1st date?

A guy made me wait a long long 5 months to ask me out, knowing I liked him. Now that he has asked me out, I turned him down saying I was too busy, maybe when I have a chance. What would he think of this, I just wanted him to see how it felt making me wait for a date. Suggestions?

Updates:
Hear me out please. We have been talking for 5 months, but it has only been through txts. We used to know each other, but have not seen each other for a while. He says he is always busy and will ask me out, to be patient. I get upset that other guys I am not interested in ask me out quickly and this guy I really like hasn't. I am still waiting on him...


Thank you all for taking your time to answer this, This guy has not asked me out yet, I was planning on telling him no if he did ask me out
According to him, he will aske me out once he has time free from work and school.


Sorry, this was the best way I got a chance to see what guys would feel if a girl did that to them, I now get what is best to do...Say yes, and just be patient (revenge is not good).

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would think she is a game player, and a waste of time. I don't know his reasons for waiting, but if he wasn't ready, wouldn't you rather he waited until he was? Maybe he was still hung up on another girl, or had some stuff going on in his life. He could have been strapped for cash (girls always think money doesn't matter, but dating is freaking expensive, and you WANT to be able to take her out). The list is endless. You did it because he pissed you off and hurt your ego. Games. And for what? Now he may not ask again...

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    • Yea, I understand that he could of had other stuff to do or had issues of his own, but it is not fair think someone will be there after so long. Don't you think that if he really liked me, he would have made time for me? He would always say he really liked me but then confused me thinking he wasn't interested at all.

What Guys Said 7

  • No is final. I have no patience for little girls playing little girl games. Never ever say "no" to a guy asking you out unless you're prepared to treat is as final.

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    • I am not playing games, alright, I get that a no is a final cut. I'l keep that in mind, thanx.

  • I wouldn't ask you again. I'd figure that's your nice way of telling me you're not interested.

    Was pretty foolish of you to turn him down like that if you've been waiting all this time. Perhaps it took him 5 months to build up the courage. In any event if you're expecting him to ask you out again you're being silly. Betcha he had no idea you were 'waiting' all this time so getting back at him was even more stupid.

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    • I made it clear I like him, I told him so many times. I clearly told him, why this wait when he told me he liked me too, and he would just say he was busy, and to just trust him.

    • If it were me saying that... I'd be saying it because I was seeing someone else and I knew it was coming to a close. And I wanted to be respectful, and decent to everyone involved by wrapping up my business before starting up new business.

      Who knows his reasoning. Turning him down isn't much incentive for him to ask you again. And 5 months is nothing.

    • Thanks for the advice :) According to him, he is busy at work and school. Supposedly he is going to ask me out this summer when he gets a chance

  • Why didn't you ask him out? well I really doubt he will ask you out again, so either ask him or it's not gonna happen.

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    • Well I feel I went to extremes telling him continuously that I liked him and that when was I going to see him.

  • I guess it depends on how you phrased that...my normal policy is to ask again IF she tells me that she had prior commitments...if I am simply told "no", I will never ask again.

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    • what if it was a no I can't, I have some things to do. Maybe next week.

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    • At Update...everyone has limits...I think you are well within your rights to ask him how long he expects for someone...*anyone*...to wait...after all...time Marches on...if someone else you DO like asks you out in the meantime...I would certainly consider my options..does this dude you like always plan on having work come first? I am an advocate that work and family are equal...those that say "family comes first" look pretty foolish when they are unable to support their family..o.O

    • I did end up going out with one guy only once in the past month, but I did not like him. I am still considering options, but I guess I just want to date this guy to see if we hit it off. According to him, his family comes first hahaha. He says in any spare time he has, he spends it with family and close friends.

  • thats so stupid! you could have asked him out during any of those 5 months! so actually he knows exactly how it feels to wait for a date...

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    • I did not get the second part, I already put myself out there to him, I put my emotions out there

  • You told him outright that you liked him before?

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    • yes, I put my emotions out there and always asked him when will he stop hiding. He would just say soon, that he was just busy. 5 months busy? not even for a 20 min convo in person? That just made me make him wait.

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    • I don't really know. It's just that if you say no, I think the ball would be in your court and you would have to be the one doing the asking out.

      It sounds like he's not into you, to be honest. Most guys aren't going to wait this long. Maybe they'd put it off like this if they didn't want to hurt your feelings and they were too scared to be honest about it. This is a weird thing to do.

    • Yeah and I told him to be honest, that I just want the truth, if he is into me or not, that I won't get hurt, and he still tells me he really really likes me (to wait for him, and trust him). There were so many opportunities for him to tell me he does not want anything, and yet he starts texting me. I told him, I do not want to be played. Thanks for your help, I appreciate it.

  • That's very silly of you. You wanted the date, but you said no.

    That means you wanted revenge on him, more than you wanted the date.

    I hope he doesn't bother asking you a second time. That'd serve you right, and save him from dating a psycho.

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