Survival of the Fittest. Two guys one girl?

As my question states. I have two amazing guys but one actually better then the other. I've only really had by and the second one I'm with now is not prince charming. But he's growing. We been dating for 8 months and. Everything just finally got better. But now there is this smart and handsome guy who is a year younger than my current boyfriend. He did everything earlier than my second boyfriend for example. Work and school. I do love my current boyfriend but most of the time when I say it I feel like I'm lying to myself. What should do. I know I'm "cheating" right now but I'm tired of always working hard. Now its whoever can make me happy wins. Survival of the Fittest. What should I do?

Updates:
Well thankyou for all the helpful comments .and for the rude ones my current boyfriend never gave me time to get over my first boyfriend. I loved my first for two years but he hurt me. My boyfriend now only feels like a rebound guy to me and I finnaly realized that now .He also cut me with his fingers during foreplay two months ago. I make sure I'm alway clean for him but he couldn't even take care of me? & I'm the one who pushed to go to school and work. He never did sh*t for me and his reputation is so low.
I'm not saying I don't have a reputation also but I know I don't. I'm I'm track. One of the fastest girls on the hurdle line. I'm also a dancer. People know me and all I want from him are flowers or for him to o pen my car door. I wanna be the f***in princess for one withoiut me telling what to do. But he can't even do that unless I tell him or hint our. But its hard to let go note because after all this bullsh*t I'm starring to love him, but for the guy I made him. Which is bad.i didn't want change
I didn't wanna change him it just happened. & I didn't go after thos guy. He came to me and noticed my hardwork. Now I'm Justing what to do now if things work out. I'm not sayin I wanna leave my boyfriend. But iys an opinion. Ty

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Most Helpful Guy

  • First, eff all the haters bashing you. They've never had the opportunity to choose before so they're just bitter you have options.

    Now for the advice. You're not a bad person for wanting a guy with ambition and chivalry. Every girl does. You're stuck on the inside of this love triangle so it's hard for you to see how this situation looks from the outside. From what I've seen your Boyfriend definitely has room for improvement but the other guy sounds too perfect. It sounds like you just don't know him well enough to see his flaws and you're enchanted with the idea of being with him because the grass looks greener on the other side.

    You've shared many experiences, both intimate and affectionate, with your boyfriend so its natural for you to have strong feelings for him. Those feelings will act like a glue keeping you together even if you're two different puzzle pieces that don't make a perfect fit. However, you shouldn't let those feelings keep you from finding someone that does fit right. Think about your boyfriend and ask yourself if he's the one you could spend the rest of your life together with and keep you happy.

    The biggest mistake any women can make about a man is thinking he'll change. If you have to force him to treat you like a princess when you're this young you can bet you'll still have to 5 years from now. Guys who are genuinely courteous don't act like that to make women happy. They do it because they know its the right thing to do. If he doesn't know its right to open your doors for you or bring home flowers just to see you smile then that's his bad. You shouldn't have to endure it just because some people think it's a ridiculous expectation for guys to be gentlemen.

    That being said, just because he might not be a perfect gentlemen doesn't mean he doesn't have other traits worthy of affection. There are plenty of happy couples out there who share their lives together because they know what really matters is trust and happiness. If he's an honest man that will stay faithful and can make you happy everything else is really just fluff. Its just a matter of preference on your part with how fluffy you want your life.

    If you break up with your boyfriend don't do it because there's a better guy, do it because your boyfriend isn't good enough for you. It's not selfish to want the best for yourself, just make sure you're giving as much as you want to get from someone. If, however, you decide to keep your boyfriend do it because of the qualities he possess and not the memories you've made with each other.

    Dang, I wasn't expecting to write this much but your situation had a lot more going on that a simple yes or no couldn't fix.

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    • Yes I totally agree. I planed to break up with him three times actually during this 8 month relationsip. But I stayed because he has something that makes me love him .but I want something that makes me inside and out. Not just one. And I know I can find someone who can do both I just have to wait. And thank for your adivice and support.

What Guys Said 9

  • This is what happened to me and my ex and it didn't end good. First off, it is not fair to the guy you're with now if you're having thoughts about this other guy. If it's happening a lot, you have to break up with him unless you can totally forget about the other guy, which isn't gonna happen. Break up with your boyfriend, it's going to suck and feel horrible but having thoughts of another guy while you're with him sucks even more. Second, be sure about this other guy because if you jump in with him and he turns out to be not what you're looking for, you just lost two guys, one of which you hurt. I'm speaking from experience here, broke up with a great girl for another girl who seemed great, was younger and really pretty, but turned out bad. It was a learning experience but it was rough.

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  • It's okay to have wants, my lady friend. You can have expectations. I also don't think it's such a bad thing that you helped change your boyfriend - when has growth and experience ever been a bad thing? Assuming that the relationship doesn't last forever, he'll go on to date other women and everything you taught him will benefit the ladies he dates next. Not so bad!

    I will warn you however, my dear, that the situation you are in is very dangerous. I can't tell you what to do... but going for the new guy might have serious consequences. You know your boyfriend. You don't know this knew guy.

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    • Thank you for understanding. And yes I know. I'm not saying I plan to leave my boyfriend but I wanna hang out with morepeople. Both male and females. I'm stright by the way. But let's say if I endvup liking this guy after a while I might go for it. But I just wanna know what is best

  • Yawn another self centred slut... OK I suggest you dump your boyfriend and go for Mr. Handsome. Hopefully Mr. Handsome who is one year younger will appreciate you enough to not do the same to you when he finds a girl with bigger t*ts and nicer body.

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    • all the answers I've read from you are great

    • Show All
    • You said your boyfriend is not exactly mr prince charming, not that he is a sh*t boyfriend. Again, misunderstanding, if he is not treating you the way you think you deserve then by all means have a think about if he is worthy of you and whether it is time to let him go. Good luck.

    • Oh my bad for the misunderstanding. But the reason why you put him younger etc is because when my boyfriend was his age etc he didn't do sh*t. He's like. Ima be a rap star and make lots of money later. Etc. Unlike his guy. He wants an education and deiced his future that's actually possible and reasonable. My boyfriend plays with music... but its not even famous in our school or he isn't even outside classes if he was really serious. My best friend Said" if he's to lazy to take care of himself, he can't take care u"

  • don't do it, you are going to hate yourself for doing that, who knows maybe this guy will just hit and quit it, plus your boyfriend has worked hard for you. As the saying goes "better the devil you know than the saint that you have to meet".

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  • O_O

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  • You will always go through seasons where it is too hard and then cheat.. I would not sweat this too much, the behavior is too addictive. Just make sure to be honest with the various guys your with as you go through out your marriages and relationships.. NEVER tell I really sweat guy, like for example the guy your cheating on or with or whatever, that you are being faithful when your not. THis guy waits a year for you... you will devistate his physce.. If you do not want blood on your hands then there is no choice but to tell these guys that you are YOUNG and just want to be free.. That should keep them... HUMAN LIFE IS SACRAD, I hope you will value my brothers enough to at least tell them!

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    • LOL I actually eneded up breaking up with my boyfriend and ended up not dating the guy who liked me for a year. I ended it with my "ex" boyfriend for personal reasons and for the other guy... If he honestly liked me, he wouldn't have stepted in and interferred. He obviously didn't respect me so therefore, he doesn't deserve me. I'm not trying to sound cocky / a bitch. I just felt like it wasn't his place to kiss me when he knew I was so weak at the time

    • How did you reach that opinion about the other guy? Self thought or friend

    • self thought. it was a decision I made right at the moment. He kept putting pressure on me when I was still confused with my boyfriend. I can honestly say I was dum founded and selfish that time because I wanted my "ex" boyfriend to be PERFECT which I know was never gunna happen because no one is perfect but idk. I was just stupid that time. and the guy who liked me got my boyfriend at the tm eout of my head and made me feel special. Either way, I was wrong too, for liking two guys at the same time

  • You want to be treated like a princess? Do you treat your man like a king? No you want to leave him or cheat on him.

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    • i treat my man like a king. I make him dinner since I don't have a job yet. I make him lunch for work. I work out. I do things every guy would dream off. and I don't wanna cheat on him which is why I wanna make a decision now before anything happens. I'm not sayin I'm looking around right now, its just a guy comes up to me and ask me out I said OK but only as a friend since I only met him once in the past forlike two seconds.

  • Please leave him he doesn't deserve a self-serving bitch like you.

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    • You're on the internet and you still feel the need to post anon. If you're going to judge someone you should at least have the balls to show your face.

      Go back to your world of warcraft, kid.

    • I have never played world of warcraft and you're right I shouldn't have gone anonymous, my screenname is guy532.

  • Wow be a better person and be single for a while before making any solid choices. Good luck

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What Girls Said 2

  • i think if your boyfriend isn't treating you right at all, you should leave him...dunno if I have the authority to say that, but its what I think. however, don't go for the other guy right away, get to know better first and then decide. you may have known him from before, but it wouldn't hurt to re-assess him to make sure he hasn't changed or anything.

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  • i think you should take some "time-off" and think about what you really want. from where I stand, your current boyfriend seems perfectly fine, but I can understand how you feel about the other guy. whenever that happens to me, all I tell myself is "he seems better than my boyfriend, but other girls are also better than me." in other words, what keeps me in love with him is his love for me. I'm not sure if it's going to be that easy for you, but it's worth trying.

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