Should I act cold and cautious? What to do about this guy?

I am in a LDR and he stopped contacting me because "he is busy". He sent me a sms the other day saying He is thinking about me every day even if we didn't make a contact for a week. I responded in four hours :" I'm thinking about you too." I am really hurt and mad at this guy. His sister told me that he is planning to come and visit me in order to talk things over. I have to mention that I am still a virgin and he knows that there will be no benefits when he comes. So he is coming only to talk for sure. But he didn't give me the attention I need and he didn't show me I'm the only one. Stopping the talk and contact in a LDR because of the work doesn't sound much logical to me. So I don't know how to act around this stuff. Should I give him another chance? Should I act cold and cautious...? What would you do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Of course it's logical LDR = different time zones, well depending how Long that L is. And that means you can't.

    Don't act anything, unless you know what you're doing, which you don't (you posted a question on gag) it generally backfires. Let him know what's up, then see his reaction, if it looks genuine carry on, if it's overcompensating or seems fake cut it off.

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    • When I talk to him in person he seems genuine. But when I talk to him over the phone, etc. I always feel that he is hiding smt. I mean... Its OK to have your own life in a relationship. I mean- you don't die if you are in love. But after you aquire a healthy and happy contact with your significant other. But when you are too busy for your girlfriend and still go to dance classes... It seems a bit freaky...

    • Some people just need a lot more space. I know that I can't be available much in a LDR because I have many hobbies and I have a lot of work to do, so I'm just busy as f***. And I know if I didn't do those things, I'd break up pretty fast because I'd feel suffocated from not being able to live my own life(it's just different degrees for different people), doesn't obviously mean anything about how he feels about you.

What Girls Said 1

  • i think you should be cautious, but not necessarily cold. be wary of what he says and his body language when you guys talk. while you can't expect him to show you the kind of attention like other relationships, still there should be a set understanding/standard when it comes to your interactions (eg two hours every night, every other night, etc). if there isn't one, then at least a better excuse than "im busy" should be offered. you haven't specified what exactly he's doing far away (studying,working,etc) so I'm hoping for the best and assuming that he's either working or studying, in which case he could genuinely be very busy. however, as I said earlier, there should have been standards set regarding your interactions. so, now that things are a little rough, be cautious when he comes, but don't be cold or distant from him. let him know the ldr has affected you, but don't pressure/harass him unless he acts immature towards your feelings. hope this helps :-)

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    • Well... HE is working. But I am also working and I still find time for our contact. That's the problem. I feel left aside... :-( HE is pretty immature and wants to be independent from me. He always wants to keep free and to keep a little space only for him. I mean... I want space for my life and activities too but he is making it "too much". Sometimes putting me in the second/thrid plan when compared to his friends and work.

    • i think in a relationship, one can never be totally independent. you're always going to depend on your better half to treat you, love you, honor you the way they ought to. I think its best to be on your guard when he comes back and get this issue settled with once and for all. don't make any conclusions whether to end the relationship or not, but let him know how down you are. he's bound to realize his mistakes once he sees how its affecting you.

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