Is it easier to not fight over a girl with other guys?

There's this girl who I've been interested in. She's very good-looking. There was a time a while ago where I had her attention one-on-one since I was the only guy talking to her; now we're in a new class and there's some other guys chasing her. And those guys chasing her are all friends, so they're all talking to her at the same time, all huddled in a group and stuff. Since they've come into the picture, I've distanced myself.

I just don't feel like trying to fight for her attention. I used to sit next to her all the time, now one of the other guys does, and the rest of them sit around her now, too. In the meantime, I've sat away and talked to other girls and, to be honest, it has kept my stress-level down.

I keep telling myself that if she's interested she'll eventually come up to me and talk to me regardless of the other guys. And if she's not, well, I've got the other girls I've been talking to. But we used to text a lot, and now those guys are texting her, asking her to hang out, basically do the stuff I used to do and to protect myself from being lost in the shuffle, instead of joining the fray, I've removed myself.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Bro. Wanna know the secret to getting her? I'll tell you what it is.

    These guys huddled around her all have one thing in common. They are all trying to kiss her ass and would just about anything to get with her. Although she likes the attention, this is too common.

    What you do is, text her, and tell her that you would like to talk to her alone at school one on one.

    Then when you actually talk to her, be str8 up and direct.

    Tell her that you have feelings for her and you want to go out with her. Tell her you don't want no games and no drama.

    Now the key to this is:

    If she shows interest in it, then take her out on an awsome date, and try to kiss her. Once you kiss her, things will get easier there.

    If she starts going around the bush when you tell her, then you stand up and calmly leave. After that, be more distant from her. And go and get other girls at your school to show her you are not upset. At this time, she should be trying to get your attention. And that's when you slowly start to gain her attraction.

    • What you are suggesting is that there's a formula to get a girl to become attracted to a guy, there is no such thing because all girls don't think the same. If there is a formula, then there wouldn't be so many single guys, being that girls out number guys. The truth is, if a girl is not interested, she's not interested. I'm not saying she can't be persuaded, but it's not a regular occurence. You suggested that he be str8 up, that's the best advice right there.

    • The weird thing about this is how reserved and quiet she is. I just can't get a proper read on her...I have a feeling she'll avoid hanging out with me. So basically I'm at the stage of the last paragraph.

    • im not saying that there is a formula, I'm saying that she should man up and ask her out whether she is quiet or not.

      Bro, do you know why most guys don't have dates? Its becuase they lack the confidence to be direct and say what they want. I'm not saying that works with every girl. But you will never know if you don't try. The adviceim giving you is to stand out from the other guys, and be direct, if he isn't interested don't kiss her ass. Move on and meet other girls.


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What Girls Said 3

  • Its always easier to avoid violence

    • I don't mean literally fight.

  • Let's say your a lover not a fighter

    • I don't mean literally fight.

  • I think what your doing is good and if she doesn't like guys all over her she'll notice you


What Guys Said 1

  • Does she know that you're interested? Did you ask her out when you were the only guy holding her attention? The reason I asked those questions is because I'm sensing a lack of confidence from you. It's as though you feel you aren't capable of competing with those new guys, and as result, you're hoping she'll come to you to make it easy for you.

    Hey man, she may very well come up to you, but I don't think it will be for the reasons that you want if you continue to distance yourself from her. By the time she talks to you she may very well be with one of those new guys, a guy that was willing to take a chance and go after what he wanted. You'll regret not going after her, and you'll regret it even more if you found out later that you had a chance with her. It's on you.

    • yes I asked her out then. It's kind of complicated. We basically went on a date, blew me off a couple times after that, and then she disappeared from my life for various reasons. Now that she's back I have no idea what she thinks of me, even after talking to her a bit.

    • Why not ask her to hang with you, or for a get together to study for class? It will help you get a better idea for what she feels about you?