How long does it take you to understand the person you are dating?

How much time do you need in order to understand the person you began dating? To correctly predict his/her behavior in the majority of the situations? To decide that you would like to have a long-term romantic relationship with him/her?

  • The first date is enough
    13% (10)9% (3)12% (13)Vote
  • I need a few dates before I begin to understand
    38% (30)44% (15)40% (45)Vote
  • I can never fully understand my date
    18% (14)24% (8)19% (22)Vote
  • What does it mean "to understand a person?"
    27% (21)12% (4)22% (25)Vote
  • The question is incorrect. A revision is necessary.
    4% (4)11% (4)7% (8)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I've been with my boyfriend for almost nine months now, and we've been friends for almost six years, and I still don't know everything about him. And he doesn't know everything about me either. We know what the other person likes and doesn't like, their personality, their moods etc., and sometimes we can even predict how the other person will react in a certain situation but then again, there's always a few surprises here and there. It takes time to really understand your significant other. Everyday we're growing together and learning new things, and that's the fun part about it. When a person becomes predictable, your relationship can become boring. Sometimes not knowing absolutely everything is a good thing.

    I think it also depends on the person. Some people are actually really boring ha ha and to be with someone like that would make it easy to figure them out. But being in a committed relationship with someone who has a sense of humour, is spontaneous, fun, and passionate is worthwhile. It never becomes boring, there's always something to do and new things to discover.

    Predicting your lover is the challenge but the blessing is learning who they are and growing together.

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What Girls Said 14

  • I think it depends on the person, it could take you one date to realize if you can actually date this person or have a long term relationship or a fling etc if you re really good at reading signs body language analyzing personalities etc and predicting a relationship ahead.. .. It might take you months or sometimes longer to get to know someone for sure... Some people it takes them years to finally admit they can actually be with that person for the rest of their lives or not.. There is no timing limit.. You can meet someone for one day and just feel like youve known them for years and just feel like you want to get to know them better and as you do that you realize how lucky you are to have found that person and you might actually be with them...

    They say if you want to know who the person is, pay close attention to what they say in the very beginning and listen carefully to what they say and take it from there..

    Just listen to what your heart tells you.. Don't ignore your mind though

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    • Agreed with just one exception. Whatever my dates tell me in the beginning turn out to be the most misleading part in the subsequent analysis. I always misinterpret the first 30 minutes to an hour. Possibly because I have a very good memory. The swarm of details simply overwhelms me. I need to spend many hours afterward to replay everything and arrive at a conclusion. Which is never right, sadly. Or at least I think so.

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    • The "agreeing type" - I noticed those tendencies in some girls. Yes, they are designed to fool you. Soemthing told as a joke may turn out to be true - I am aware of that also. But usually, those preceding two types are easy to crack. They are usually quite fidgety and do not stand to any kind of serious scrutiny. The difficult types are the intelligent girls. Some of them are genuine and some are fake. They are not easy to tell apart. It takes a while to process all the hints. Thanks, by the way

    • Hehe I know! You re welcome =)

  • after the first date, I know whether or not I see the relationship going anywhere. I think it takes years to truly know a person.

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    • Thanks for answering. I agree with you. It's a little sad that one needs so much time to come to know the partner. They say the first date is crucial. But there's a chance you can miss something on the first date too.

  • It takes a long time but you risk it with them (have a relationship) if it seems promising enough... but promising is a strong word. It takes a long time to understand a person because there are so many sides to them that you cannot see if you're just going out for dinner/lunch. You need to see how they spend time and interact with other people and how they react to different situations/senarios to be able to get a better understanding so I'd say it takes quite a few months to begin to understand someone.

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    • Thanks. I agree with your assessment of the time span ( a few months ). What can I do when a the other person expects me to move much faster, before I had a chance to understand the other person. Should I simply break up? I may reach the right conclusion many months later and may decide not to continue. The other person will be offended, saying: "but everything was going so well. Why break up now?" People don't understand that I need to understand them first.

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    • Maybe you should just drop this in the convo sometime that you take awhile to understand someone... and try to explain it in a way that's least lame? haha.. sorry.. or just talk about past experiences where maybe it's progressed fast for you and in the end you realized how messed it was? Yeah, phrase it better though but that should give them a hint.

    • Thanks again. My dates are from the same age group as I am. There are not many of them per time unit (e.g. a year). Many of them say that they were disappointed before because their husbands or boyfriends left them. It seems that I have to decide right on the spot and show them commitment right away. Or else, they'll be disappointed again. Well, I simply cannot. You are right, I think: I have the right to break up, if I don't feel a relationship is going to work.

  • It depends on how much time you spend with them and the situations you get into with them. I've been dating my current boyfriend for a few months and at times he still surprises me but other times I know exactly how he will react and be usually reacts the way I figured he would

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  • I'm pretty good at summing up people, always have been. Probably because I do it for a living, so I had better be. lol I do not get to know all about them on the first date, but I can pretty much "sum" them up & understand them & their behavior within the first hour of meeting them. I have a great instinct & diagnostic skill, and I'm typically 99.9% correct. To decide if I even want to date them again? Half an hour sometimes depending on what some people say...But there are some crazy folks out there. lol

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  • I can usually make a pretty good impression off a first date. Maybe not predicting behavior, but I can generally spot red flags, and get a decent overall feel for their personality and if we will click.

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  • Actually it depends how long I've known the person. But in terms of a relationship B few dates should do it.

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  • i woud say wo that's nd few chts I tend to analize people a lot and he way they think so I cna know someone really fast but obviously not all the way because you can't get to know someone fully even if you have been ith them all your life.

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  • First date. I don't typically waste my time with someone I'm iffy about.

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  • My simple answer- I believe it probably depends on the person.

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  • It takes me a couple dates, at max 3

    If someone is hard to understand I would probably stop dating them unless they showed me they really liked me.

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  • B.

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  • Do you really ever know anyone?

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  • Months... maybe a year.

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What Guys Said 4

  • I choose to befriend them first. Then get to know them as friends and if things become more, great, go for more. If not? meh. But I hate the idea of just meeting a girl and asking her out on a date right away. That's just.. bleh.

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  • C

    Sometimes living with a person for over 30 years will never unlock all the skeletons in their closets.

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  • Sometimes never.

    I like to be more direct. I will notice the different behavior and attitudes towards that person and slowly match mine with hers.

    I will try to relate and understand her but she doesn't need to understand me.

    Psychology is going to be my minor, so it's kind of automatic now for me to understand the other person.

    It drives me crazy occasionally, if I know too much.

    Takes about the first 3 dates and a Facebook account for me to understand them.

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  • Three dates to know if this will end up somewhere. A few months to know almost everything.

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