How do I talk to him? how do I tell him what I want from him?

So I am dating this guy who is 17 and has Aspergers Syndrome. I am 16.

He is not good at social interaction, and our conversations are very cold. He listens to whatever I want him to do, but I don't wanna sound bossy to him by telling him to be the way I want him to be.

I wanted to tell him about what I expect and want from our relationship but then I am afraid that he may get offended or not understand me, or not care.

What if I teach him on how to be in a good relationship...?

I know a lot about relationships even though I have been single because I have MANY cousins older than me and that they have dated a TON of guys...and I learn from their experience because I am very analytical.

So...

How do I talk to him?

How do I tell him what I want from him?

Help please...

I am meeting him in three hours...


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What Guys Said 2

  • Hi;

    I have Aspergers too and all people with it are different. It is really nice that you are putting effort into trying to make the relationship work. My advice is to remind him that you like to see him smile and that you would be really happy if... and whatever your goals for the relationship are. Like I said everyone with the disorder is different, and it is okay to be firm if you need to be to make sure he does his part too for the relationship. It is a two way street. He needs to be able to communicate clearly, not leave all of the work to you. It is hard for an "aspie", but a true relationship in my eyes is when both people can be open with each other and comfortable. As a somewhat of an introvert (Except when I am with my close friends :p ), I always remind myself to smile. Smiling is a great way to break the ice, and come across as interested in who you are talking to.

    Not to sound presumptuous - but did he start the relationship and take the first step by asking you out? If yes, than he definitely is capable of giving you every bit happiness that you deserve! :)

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  • Dear Anonymous User,

    Tough situation. Being that it's impossible to know the specific details of your boyfriend's condition, my opinion may be off base. I'm definitely not a doctor either. From what I read, it sounds like you're very devoted and want to do whatever it takes to make things work. That's admirable of you. From my very non-medical perspective, I would suggest that you do what it seems you are best at - attempt to openly and honestly communicate with your boyfriend. Maybe show him by example. But above all else, remain honest from the get go. It is acceptable to convey your expectations and feelings within your relationship. Hopefully he can share his with you as well. Beyond that, there is only so much which is within your control. I wish you the best of luck in your relationship!

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