Do guys hate when a girl asks "how have you been?" or something?!

EVERY single time I ask this question to a guy via text, I get ignored. And I do not initiate the conversation, it always goes like this: They text me, I reply, they ask how I've been, then I reply and ask how they have been, and POOF, they disappear and do not reply back. Whyyyyyyy? It is so annoying. Should I just not ask anymore and not even be concerned with how they have been?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you ask it frequently, it gets very boring. It is a signal to a guy that you aren't doing anything at the moment and it sounds like you're bored. That's not a good sign to send. You're better off sending something funny, telling him something you're doing, or anything that's more interesting than such a generic comment.

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What Guys Said 6

  • It's just a boring question. I hate when people texting me stuff like: "hey" , "what up", "how's it going?", etc.

    I mean, how do you respond to that? Hi, I'm fine, not much? It doesn't lead to a deeper conversation. If you have something you really want to talk to me about or tell me, just lead with that, don't make me text you 5 times about small talk to figure that out.

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    • Yep you are right, I agree, so why on Earth would HE start the conversation off that way?

  • Well that's annoying.. I don't know why its unusual

    Hey how are you?

    Fine how about you?

    "died, she responded it was very shocking :("

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  • They either don't want to talk to exactly you or there's just nothing going in their lives so they haven't got anything to reply to that question.

    I personally think there's nothing wrong with that question. How else are you supposed to start a conversation? And showing that you're interested what's up with the person you're talking to definitely is a cool thing!

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  • Over text - I don't really like it but in real life it's fine. It's hard to start a conversation from a question like that. Over text I like to type something random to them and hopefully that'll get some small talk going, then we can go deeper. :)

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  • My friends ask me all the time and I don't have a problem with it

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  • It's a boring question

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    • I can see that but what other question should I be asking if we can't even get past "how have you been"? Especially if I don't even know the guy well and that's all he has gotten past.

What Girls Said 1

  • i know what you mean, I dealt with that too and I agree with the other guy, some guys just think its boring, a good handful of guys, not all, want a fun interesting girl as a friend to crack them up or keep things enjoyable...some guys just like wild outgoing girls with a fun personality...my ex best friend was like that and all my guy friends liked her better then me, I'm much more like u, I'm just straight forward and ladylike and not too out there, it depends on the mood really, sometimes I can throw a random line out there that will make them laugh their socks off, but most other times I'm just brief like hey how are you and it can get boring for others. =/

    its all about your chemistry with a friend and how you get along...may be you want a nice smart guy to talk to as well, I always get along better with those!

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