So he does all of the things that a guy who is into you does, but he doesn't want to be boyfriend and gf.

We text all day. We meet up for lunch almost everyday from our respective jobs. He makes time to see me. When he was out of town, he Skyped me. He tells me of things he wants to do with me in the future like taking trips, etc.. He talks about me to his friends. I've met his friends and family. OK, I'll stop there.

What I'm trying to say is, he gives me reasons to believe he really likes me, but he doesn't want to commit to a relationship with me and I think he is hooking up with another girl.

I don't know what to do.

Updates:
Could he just be playing games? Seem a lot to do to play games, but idk...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is odd behavior. Typically its girls who do this stuff.

    Most guys don't see the value in a close relationship with a female unless he had intentions of dating her or having sex with her. Normally I would say this guy likes you because most guys never do this stuff unless they really like the girl. However the fact that he said he doesn't want a relationship and is hooking up with another girl speaks otherwise.

    Still though, its not out of the question. You guys aren't official so its not against the rules for him to be hooking up with another girl. I don't exactly go way out of my way to get with other girls if I already have a crush, but many people do. I also wouldn't turn down an easy opportunity if it was there, especially if my crush wasn't there seeing it happen.

    As far as his commitment level, it could mean anything. He may just not be ready for a relationship right now, maybe he wants to date you, but is milking this fling with this other girl and is waiting for that to blow up before he continues further with you, maybe he really just doesn't want to date and sees you as only a friend. It's really tough to say.

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    • If it's girls that usually do this stuff.. I feel sorry for guys that have to deal with this. It's so frustrating, because you get your hopes up.. and then you get all confused! When I asked about becoming a couple he just said that it sucks that we met during this time in his life. He says he feel too immature to be in a relationship and that he feels he can't offer me things that I want/need.

      If he sees me as a friend would he still do all this stuff? and would asking for a break be a good idea?

    • Show All
    • Good advice. Thanks.

    • That's what they all say ;). Np and GL.

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 1

  • He's not playing any games...in fact, he sounds like he really likes your company. You won't like to hear what the problem is...but here it goes.

    You've been friend zoned. : (

    No where has he said he wants to pursue a romantic relationship with you. "That" would be misleading and playing games. He seems to like the relationship you currently have and if you were to try to pursue anything beyond this, I think you'll find he'll say...

    "I like things the way they are...I don't want to mess up the friendship"...blah, blah, blah

    What I will tell you, is that sometimes, people wait to long to confess their real feelings. Sometimes there's a small window of opportunity to make something happen. I hate living with what if's so I'd roll the dice and bring up the fact that you'd like to date him seriously, because that's really what we're talking about here. Damn the consequences.

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    • He's never said anything about messing up our friendship. Honestly, our relationship is pretty much like we are boyfriend and girlfriend, except for the title and the fact that I think he may be hooking up with another girl.

      About the misleading, He'll say things like, "what are you going to tell our kids about blah, blah, blah." random things like that. ughh... frustrating.

    • I was saying..."if you told him you liked him...he'd probably give you that "friendship shpiel"...sounds like he's flirting a little. Still, it's all ambiguous, and leaves too much room for speculation. Just tell him how you feel to finally get some answers.

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