GUYS: Advice Anyone? Internet-Persona Safety: Where Do You Go From Here?

I realize it to be horribly cliche to fall for someone online. To me, it had always seemed immature, and lazy, and it had always seemed to be the insecure whom have been prone to such a thing...

Now, I can't say whether I am insecure or immature, or lazy, because I believe that sentiment to be subjective to opinions, however, in the midst of being so arrogant and ignorant on the subject of online dating, I have never considered the situation- And now I am all but lost.

I had come across someone online, evidently, and we began to speak with one another. Light chatting, etcetera. But after a while, it came to the point where we had both realized that- If this were to be a real life scenario- we were interested in each other as more than just online-chatting buddies.

We have spoken very much, and explored all of the possibilities and consequences that come along with meeting. We have explored the great possibility that we will not at all be interested in one another in the physical means of meeting, and we have expressed the possibilities of things going wrong. But there is always that one possibility that being together is |right|. Ultimately, that is what is swaying us toward deciding whether or not to meet.

I have analyzed said situation over and over and over again, in order to rule out and consider every possible pro and every possible con. Part of me says I am taking a BIG chance, and part of me says that this is something I need to pursue for my own peace of mind.

The ball is now in my court, for he has left the decision up to me. It is now up to me to decide whether we will meet or not. It's a big chance that I know I am willing to take, but I would really appreciate some outside help here, from you guys.

Is this a good idea?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It could be the best or the worst idea you'll ever have..At this point, you don't know and there is no way to tell really.

    I believe in online love - every day, since I'm married to one :p (and like you, completely unexpectedly). Reasons why I believe in it for everyone would bring me too far here..

    The key is really how you handle it from here: meeting, sure but the first time(s) I wouldn't do it alone (or at least have someone around), and in a public place ("no physical reality string attached"). One of you could get disappointed - don't get your fantasized hopes up, the reality always hits the first moments..(good or bad)

    Whether you find a guy in a bar or a library or online - it's still a guy you need to see whether you like him that way. The 'risks' are pretty much the same. The big difference with online relations is that you unconsciously already made a virtual picture of him which could influence/bias you.

    I would meet him really - if you click, it's extremely powerful. You would not want to miss that possibility :)

    Good luck with it!

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What Guys Said 2

  • Well you never know. I am an older guy and I look at the messages posted her and think some of them are guys posing as girls so they can ask weird questions. The anonymity of it allows someone to totally mislead you and you need to be very careful.

    If you feel you must meet this person do it this way. If you have represented yourself as an under age girl, tell him to meet you in a very public place (like a mall) and tell him to be there first and have him tell you what he will be wearing. Take a friend with you. Go somewhere that you can see him before he sees you. If he is not who he pretends to be just leave. If he seems to be take your friend with you... beware, there is always the possibility an older pervert will use a young kid, even his own son to mislead you, so make sure you don't go anywhere that you can be abducted.

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  • ally, I have done the internet thing, I told my self I wouldn't and I wound up doing it, it turned out badly, she lied about a lot of things, when I first saw her, so I immediately broke it off, my no. 1 turn off is when a girl lies about something serious

    i would highly recommend not doing the online thing, but if you really feel like you want to, then be my guest, and whether were cool with each other or not, you may want to take my advice

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    • But see, there's also that chance that he could be different...

      I mean, wouln't you have regretted it, honestly, if you hadn't pursued in finding out if she was true? Wasn't it worth it?

    • I suppose so

What Girls Said 2

  • Well first off, be safe about it (you NEVER know). Worst case scenario (aside from the gory) is that you two end up not clicking romantically. Best case scenario? You find an amazing connection.

    I used to think just like you do. I admit I even judged some people for saying they met the love of their life online. But now I don't think that way at all. I still urge people to be careful and really take their time but I am more open minded. The reason being is that 5 years ago I met a guy online by sheer accident. This wasn't a dating site but the infamous Myspace. I made sure to make it crystal clear to him that I was not interested in dating/flirting etc. He said fine but admitted I was attractive. For four years we talked about everything under the sun and remained good friends. He would tell me about his girlfriends at the time and I would tell him about my boyfriends. It was just a sheer friendship. He was very good at not crossing the platonic boundry. I respected that about him. I went to visit him about a year ago for the first time. I was looking for a place to get out of town and just relax. We found that our bond was even stronger in person. We were laughing, talking and enjoying every minute of our time together. Both of us knew that this was it. This was what everyone looks for. About two months later he moved in with me and here we are nearly a year later engaged with a baby on the way. This is the best relationship I have ever been in. My parents have never liked any of my exes and they love him. I was never one to be sappy or even into the whole love thing. I have got to admit, this man is the most amazing man I have ever known. Our relationship is truly one of a kind. I can goof around with this guy and show every bit of my true colors without fear that he will run away. It's possible but you have to take your time and be safe.

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  • Hi! =) I'm a girl too & I know exactly how you feel, I recently met someone online and I am falling for them. they seem to like me a lot too. I also, just like you, feel like it is kind of stupid and lazy to fall for someone from chatting on the internet. But I can't help it... so the only problem is that he lives very far away, me in florida, him in england. I really want to meet him too, and I'm considering going to college in england so I can go to school and see him and maybe even be together in a relationship.

    I think you should definently take the chance and meet him. The worst that can happen is that he doesn't turn out what you thought it would be and then you move on. But then again, it could turn out to be something wonderful. =]

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    • Hey sweetie. It seems we're on the same boat, there, girl! I'm in NewBrunswick, Canada, and he's in Detroit, Michigan. Sigh. It's just a tad difficult for us, isn't it. I always find myself wondering why it couldn't have been that I'd met him in person instead...

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