Do you think that 100% honesty could be achieved in a relationship?

Okay! Continuing off my question about "why guys don't like answering in depth questions",

GUYS: Would you ever be completely honest with your partner about EVERYTHING (and I mean EVERYTHING) ?

GIRLS: Would you willingly accept the complete honest answer, or would you rather your partner lie to you about SOME things?

And overall, do you think that 100% honesty could be achieved in a relationship after heartache from both sides?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i try to be completely honest with a girl.. because I'd expect the same thing from her.. I find that honesty is really needed in relationships and I hate it when people lie

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    • I agree. even about the smallest things. I mean some "white lies" give way for bigger lies to come. So lying shouldn't be an option. :)

What Guys Said 7

  • I typically do, and it gets me into trouble.

    "Do these pants make me look fat?"

    I will dodge this question EVEN IF THE PANTS LOOK GREAT. Why? I'm a smart fish.

    However, typically I explain when I get into a relationship that "I will dodge all questions that are intended to fish for compliments, such as..." I typically explain this after the first question of this type.

    Similarly, I have learned that "I do not have an opinion on that" is not a response that women EVER want to hear. As such, I will randomly select "which shirt I like better" if I have no opinion. Again, I am straight forward about this and explain it kind of like how I did here after the first time the question is asked.

    -This one has gotten me into trouble. Several women have tried to bait me with this question and ask me "why" I like one more than the other. "OK, you got me, I don't really like one over the other, but now when you ask me these kinds of questions I'm going to have to make up reasons for liking one over the other."

    There's a ton of little situations like this where I'm pretty much forced to play a game to make her happy, but I let her know that I'm playing a game to make her happy from the get-go. Some women seem to really appreciate this.

    ^Are these games silly? Yeah, for sure, but as a man if you don't at least "pretend" to play games like this she gets irritated and bored, more likely to run around on you. It's kind of like when women pretend to like football, or videogames, or cars (I know some women actually enjoy things, but a lot more pretend to than actually do), only I'm honest about it.

    So... I guess yeah, in a technical sense I'm as close to 100% honest as I possibly can be ;)

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    • lol. I was laughing the whole time I read this. Very interesting...Nice. :)

    • "I'm a smart fish."

      hahahhaha.. great answer

    • Seriously, that must gain you a lot of points with the ladies? Clever :)

  • I can be 100% honest and still not say anything really. I just compress all that happened in my day, or about some subject that I care little for when asked. It saves time, questions, and arguments without lying.

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  • No, that's just impossible.

    Let's be real - we all have our skeletons in each of our closets, and some things are just.. things which are there, which don't cause any trouble so they rather remain buried there, no need to bring them out only to cause distress and nothing good.

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    • Well yeah. If they never come up (small things) Now...something like...getting a disease earlier in life or...having multiple sex partners (beyond reason)...those things need to be said. Now about what was done with the partners...(nu uh TMI) or well just stuff like that. But if it comes up as a topic between two people...I believe the truth should come out. When one of my BFs told me (after I asked him) how many people he has sex with before me, I was like WOW. He said Honesty? I don't know...

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    • I agree :) Because it has just come out into the open by itself sometimes...lol

    • By "it' you mean what exactly?

  • I would only be 100% honest if I thought she could handle it. I think very few can.

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    • lol That would be me. And more than likely the honesty might spark another conversation for later or the moment. It'd lead to people understanding one another better than either one of them thinks.

  • I have been completely honest with the girl I'm with. I have been from the start as I've been in the back ground watching her get hurt by numerous guys over the last few years. Then when we started dating I made the point of being honest from the beginning when I promised her that I wouldn't be another guy to hurt her. Shame she isn't the same though

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  • only if I felt like she was my equal

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  • im never 100% completely and utterly honest about everything from my past or what I think. 100% honesty from both people is gonna be a hard thing to accomplish and get through because someone is gonna get hurt or upset at what comes out

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    • True. Some times being honest can hurt feelings, and cause people to be upset. But especially "past" questions. I think females ask those kind s of questions because we feel the need to compete, or be better than what men have had IN the past. Even though we get the same, "Well I'm with you now, so why does it matter?" answer, we STILL itch to know if we are better. And sometimes honestly might actually let your partner know how serious about the relationship you are. If I were constantly lied to

    • to NOT hurt my feelings, that might send me over the deep end. I'm a very blunt person. If I feel something, I say exactly how it is in my head. Now, if it sounds stupid in my head, I'll wait a sec before I say it. But other than that, I'd just wish some people would stop categorizing people all together about "honesty". There are people who want to be told the truth ALL THE TIME no matter what. :)

What Girls Said 7

  • I am a very blunt and understanding person so I personally think it would be possible for me if I found a man willing to be the same. I prefer an honest person, of course there are things that could be rude that don't need to come out I don't mean I have or want someone with verbal diarrhea.

    I honestly feel like the less lies the better, if someone is going to lie about stupid stuff to you how do you trust they are going to be honest about the important things? But for some reason people rationalize it like they are protecting the person they are lying to or don't want to hurt them... but stuff always comes out eventually anyway.

    But hearing so much honesty might be difficult for some people, I understand that. Just the person I am I know I prefer it and it could be possible with the right person.

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    • You took the words right out of my mouth. That's what I want for most guys to understand. Not all women run and hide when their feelings get hurt. I know I don't. I just take the criticism and go with it. And like you said. Little lies lead to big lies, and that were most women f*** up. They think that "oh...it's tiny lie" won't lead to a "OH MY GOD I CNT BELIEVE YOU LIED TO ME!" ...mmm...sadness. But yeah. Some women aren't strong enough to handle that. Men just shouldn't generalize women.

  • I think honesty is important but so is selecting your questions. If it has to do with what happened before I even knew him, I'll only ask if its really important to me. I don't need all the details, why would I want to torture myself with knowledge of things that don't affect us in the here and now? If you probably won't like the answer, don't ask the question. He's here with you now, leave the past in the past.

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    • As far as current events go, yes honesty is key as well. Omitting hurtful truths is OK sometimes. The only reason I'd want to know/share a hurtful truth, is if passing on the info could possibly help better the situation

  • Yes it can be achieved, to the detriment of the relationship.

    Honesty sounds great in theory but in reality, no one wants to know the truth. No matter what question you may ask your partner you never want the truth, you just want and hope that the truth will coincide with the answer you seek.

    To answer the question you had for girls though, whichever way is fine with me. I personally don't seek to know everything about my boyfriend, I'm happy on a need to know only basis and I expect the same of him. What does his past or what do his real thoughts matter as long as we're happy together?

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  • There is no such thing as 100% honesty in any relationship all though guys try but we girls make them lie and we don't even relise it like when we ask stupid questions like does this out fit make me look fat ? Lol and the poor guys lie because they love us and don't wanna hurt our feeling and they do this very often bless there hearts but really there is no such thing as 100% honesty

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    • Okay. :) Well think about this: What happens when a woman DOES as the question "Does this make my butt look big or Does this outfit make me look fat?" and the guy says "NO! You're fine. Trust me." (Knowing good and well...lol) They go out in public and everyone is looking at her like "Who did it and WHY?" Then her feels gets hurt by multiple people at one time, vs. her partner, when all he had to say was something like "Are you sure you want to wear that?", "Oh. Look here's what I suggest." or

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    • I agree, especially in a serious relationship I feel more than anyone you should feel comfortable enough to be honest with the person you're with about anything and everything w/o worrying about judgment or hurt feelings.

    • :) Thank you. I knew I wasn't crazy for thinking this.

  • honest answer with love lol

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  • I'd prefer honesty but it better not be idiotic. I wouldn't want him to lie.

    What do you mean exactly about the heartache thing?

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    • NICE. I was just thinking that in my head. Males tend to have the "stupid syndrome" when women ask questions that they feel they have to lie about. lol. But heartache as in cheating, "stupid crazy" lying. Things like that.

    • After cheating I'm not too sure, it would take a lot of time to even get over the lack of trust barrier. They'd need to develop a super strong sense of truth and hate lies in essence lol.. I guess if they could trust each others reactions it could be possible...

  • I am OK with him lying about some things. Like if he can't stand a friend of mine then I would prefer he keep it to himself of if he thought my friend was hot, then keep it to himself or if I told him I wanted to lose 10 pounds and he liked the idea I would like him to tell me he likes me the way I am but will support me. Little white lies are good and I know I tell him little white lies to spare his feelings.

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    • Okay. Understandable. Especially the friend thing. I'd go monkey on that one. lol But inquisitive things...that's what I think should be completely answered in honesty.

    • Like if I ask him "Do you think that girl over there is hot?" kind of thing? I wouldn't do that to him or myself. That is just opening up a can of worms.

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