Me and him are struggling and I just need some advice.

So, I broke up with him a couple of days ago. Someone at his work contacted me believing that she thought he may be cheating on me with a coworker of his. When I confronted him about this, he said that he had been flirting with a girl and took her on a date (after telling everyone at his work that he had left me). He said this went on for a week and then broke it off with her, because he felt guilty.

He told me nothing happened on the date, he picked her up, they saw a movie, he took her home. Not even a goodnight kiss.

Here's the kicker, I see him everyday. He is the babysitter for my niece and nephew (they live with me). He agreed to do it still until we found a new one. We both seem to want to get back together and work it out.

I guess the point here is, should I? We have talked it out, cried it out, all that stuff. (We were together one 1/2).

My goodness the world is harsh 0.o I have no lack of respect for myself. He is a great human being, he made this mistake, and my reaction was to leave him. Him doing this was way out of character for him to do. I haven't told many of my friends or family, solely because that is way out of character for him to do, and they all have said to try it one more time, and be stern, that if it ever happens again, he's gone.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Are you serious? He took another girl out on a date while in a relationship with you...and you wanna know if you should take him back?

    Just because he didn't kiss her or anything (which is most likely a lie) doesn't mean its not cheating. This guy is a hardcore cheater and the longer you'll be in a relationship with him, the worse its gonna get. Let him go and let some other girl deal with him.

    Just because you were together for a year and a half doesn't mean you shouldn't end it. My girlfriend / fiance of 8 years cheated and I refused to take her back, and she even tried for months. Point being, cheaters don't change. There's an underlying problem in your relationship that causes him to feel he needs to go somewhere else, and if that's how he feels, let him go.

    Personally, I'm harsh with cheaters. I think they're disgraceful human beings who make a concious decision to hurt their significant other. When I was cheated on, it was one of the most painful experiences of my life, and while your situation is (supposedly) just a date, its still cheating.

    I hope you don't take this dude back, but either way hopefully it works out the best for you. Good luck.

    • I just read your update. Its not an "if he does it again," its "when he does it again." The question is, how much of your time, energy, and life will he waste before he does. Cheaters never change...theyre not willing to. It may be weeks, months, maybe even years before he cheats again, but he will. Promise.

      I think you already had your mind made up before you even asked this question. I can see you will take him back...and yes, when it comes to cheating, I am extremely harsh.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Why did you break up in the first place? Was it because of something that happened before the date, or because he dated this girl? Also, have you guys been fighting before the break up and if so, why?

    • We don't fight anymore than the typical couple I'd say. I mostly broke up with him because I didn't find out from him, I had to find out from his coworkers. And the fact he did that as well. And, well, that he told everyone he worked with he left me. Kind of didn't make me feel too great.

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    • Hmmm, all it boils down to now is if you believe him or not. Can't really add much more on this end. Anyways, I have to hit the sack. Good luck with your man.

    • Goodnight, and thanks.

  • break up


What Girls Said 4

  • I honestly can't see how you could even contemplate taking him back. What kind of a guy lies about leaving his girlfriend and takes another girl out on a date? And in his workplace. Not only he is a lying cheating scumbag , he's also incredibly stupid. How do you know nothing happened on the date? Because he told you? Like he's a trustworthy source. Get the hell away from this guy. If his coworker(who must be commended) hadn't told you, would you ever have known? How could you ever trust him? And as for him putting it down to stress(comments below). What a load of horsesh*t. When you're stressed off your head the last thing you do is go and pile more onto your plate, you don't do something that's going to cause you more stress. Run, run very far and very fast

    • I can only answer your first question. A guy who wants to appear masculine and strong. Who ended it first. And he moved on too quickly to try and prove the world.

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    • Why would he openly admit that he went out with another girl, then tell me that they didn't do anything? He knew he was caught, there's nothing to hide at that point.

    • Because he knows you're never going to find out, just like you would have never found out that he'd gone on a date if someone else hadn't told you. As for him "openly" admitting it, why did someone else have to tell you if he was so open. Of course there was something to hide. He's a proven liar and cheater. What you think he just took another girl out for the craic of it?

  • I couldn't agree more with the other girl who answered.

    This is what I fail to understand: how can you even consider getting back with him, let alone WANT to? Is it that you lack self respect? Is it that you've done much worse to him? I would love to know.

    The point here is, he completely disrespected you. You think what he did now was bad? If you get back with him it will only get worse because you will have shown him you tolerate him treating you like you aren't worth a thing.

    I get it, it's hard. But do yourself a favour and endure getting over him.

  • Break up. He didn't come to you telling you the situation and what had happened. He went so far as to pretend you guys had broken up. At least he was decent enough to tell you the truth, but only after someone else had exposed it. If it were me, I'd move on.

  • break up once a cheat always a cheat and secondly if he gets bored once he will again, happened to me and I forgave him, but at the end of the day I am now better off with out him