I'm not sure if my boyfriend finds me that physically attractive...

Several times he's said his favorite things about me are my sense of humor and intelligence. Which is totally great and all, don't get me wrong here, but he's been rather bi-polar on the physical comments (which are infrequent). He's poked fun at my weight before, and also said that it wasn't that important to him and I was fine. (I'm not that over, some to lose, but still have a figure, not round)

I'm not hung up on the lack of complements, that's totally fine with me, but sometimes I honestly can't tell if he finds me that attractive. Its weird. Any thoughts? Is it that important?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I can honestly say, as a boyfriend who tends to forget this sort of thing, that there is little you should be concerned about. I think my girlfriend is the most physically attractive person out there and I care about her deeply, I just don't think of saying these things all the time, not because she is not important to me, but because those things are not important to me.

    Physicality and the reception of attention based on it should not be your focus in your relationship as I know with mine it is not, even though I know I am blessed to have what I have, perfection.

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What Guys Said 6

  • I prefer to not have to lie to a girl that I like her figure just the way she is if she should really be watching it a little more closely if as she's on the verge of being overweight or is marginally overweight. I'll find something else that is genuinely nice about her that I can honestly talk about.

    Complimenting on her figure could be doing her a disservice if it gives her the false sense of security to ruin it further. Then if we broke up for any reason (not just or not exclusively the weight gain) and she saw me with a thin girl she'd think it's all my fault and she'd be right.

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  • Its probably fine, unless he is the type to dump you for a better looking girl. I've seen it happen, even to women who have had no objectional cahracter flaws at all. Stranger things have happened here in GAG-land.

    At the end of the day, what you are really asking is whether he loves you for you.

    That is a question only he can answer.

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  • He also might not want you to think that he only views you in an objective way.. So instead of stating the obvious that he fnds you attractive... He looks for something else to compliment you on..

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  • who cares? he treats you well and loves you. the rest is nonesence

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  • if he is with you that means he finds you at least a little bit attractive. some guys just get gfs just to have one. talk to him. its the best thang to do little homie

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  • He wouldn't stay with you if he didn't think you were cute. It's really that simple hah >_<

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What Girls Said 1

  • Hey now, first of all, please find happiness and confidence in yourself, if what he is not saying to you really bothers you, than you need to bring it to his attention before making any rational decisions about where things could go. I totally understand where you are coming from, sometimes hearing how beautiful you are or how nice your eyes are can change your mood for the whole day. Its actually scary how such a small comment can go such a long way. Now as you said don't take away from the fact that he finds you intelligent and funny. those are very good qualities to have :) But I suggest talking to him about it if you haven't already. I have a boyfriend who I don't usually say much to regarding this... but I'm pretty certain he knows that some times a small compliment about my physical attributes in a non perverted way can make me feel like such a queen. And GUYS DO THE SAME THING. I know a ton of guys who find a way to fish for compliments as well and if you don't give them the answer they are looking for, they go.. "but don't you like ..." However, even though my boyfriend forgets and often says things that could be potentially fatal to a womans heart, I am learning to weigh the pros with the cons and really appreciate the things he does say and do for me because I know he does love me. Regarding the weight 'poking' and such could just mean he's comfortable with you and he is just expressing his physical interests. not to say your not attractive to him, but I know there are things about me that my boyfriend doesn't like or would like me to change however, he respects that it is my body and my health and wellness and to him that matters more than how I look.

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