Need advice on dating someone with commit issues?

I went on a first date with this girl and to me she is amazing...intelligent, gorgeous, outdoorsy...essentially has a lot of qualities that I think are amazing but I can tell she has commitment issues. On our date she mentioned that her parents are divorced, she's had a strained relationship with her dad, goes through jobs like a kid going through Christmas presents, and also even said that when she starts to feel tied down she feels like she needs something new. Afterwords I still thought the good out weighed the bad. But then I called her a few days later for a second date (which she confirmed that she would like to go on) she starts talking about how she has decided to move to another state in 4 months. Now I know its not smart to think any further than the here and now, when dating but I struggle with this knowledge. How can I expect to enjoy being with her if there is going to be a time limit on see her? Is it even worth going on another date with her? at the moment the good and bad have equalized out and I'm left wondering what do I do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you already know the answer, but deep down you're hoping you can tame this, what I like to call, Tigress. Your assessment of her is so spot on! I certainly think all of your instincts are telling you that this one might be a beartbreaker.

    My mother always says, when somebody tells you something, believe them the first time. In some small way, she's already told you that she'll get back to hunting again the minute she feels tied down. She can't help it, it's in her relationship DNA and there's really nothing you can do about it. Want to know if a girl is good relationship material? Look at her relationship with her father. That will tell you everything you need to know.

    So...I think you know pursuing this one is bad news. Still, if you decide to make a go for it, don't delude yourself into thinking she might suddenly get her act together. You'd be setting yourself up for a huge dissapointment. As much as it will cause you pain, I Say let his one run free. She won't be happy locked up in a cage.

    I wish you luck in love.


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What Girls Said 3

  • Well in the end its up to you. If you feel she's worth it, maybe there's something there. But guard your heart. Take it from someone whos been there. If there's a lot of doubt in your mind it may not be the best idea.

  • I would say do not give 100% of what you have to her. I was in a simlar situation. I started a relationship with my ex with both of us knowing that he'd be leaving to another place, 2 weeks before he left, he told me that it's too difficult for him to have a long distance relationship and I haven't heard from him since then. Talk to her and express your feelings and see how she responds. Good luck.

  • Well it seems you truly like her so, in the event that she does move, you offer to be good friends. You can stay in touch every now and then, vid chat and all that stf. You have to allow her to do her thing of course and she will whether you want her to or not. If you show sour feelings about her decision she might try and cut you off so let her do things her way and still offer to be friends and be there for her. Go out and enjoy yourself because she may remember it and if she comes back she could look for you because of the cool time she had with you. If not you still will have a good time hanging out with her. Its okay to feel how you feel when it comes to the negative part about it but don't voice that to her. Just make the most of your time with her and if she likes being around you look at that as a good think when she decides to come around if your not with someone else by then.

    Good Luck


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