Men are said to pursue what they want to no ends, yet why aren't

any pursuing me?

It makes me feel bad and it hurts my feelings. I am also told the right one will come along in no time... no time. It's never that time, at least that's what I feel.

It makes me feel like there's something wrong with me, like I'm broken, or ugly, too weird, just plain no. But I am told that I am funny, sweet, unique, intelligent, and beautiful; of course I know the adults, my aunts, and my friends are being nice-- If that's true than why does no boy see it?

I see girls who are half as much as me being pursued, being swayed and wooed, being told that they are loved and that they are special when all I see is their nasty attitudes (they give me dirty looks and do not apologize for their mishaps), boring personalities, self absorbed, heart breakers and even snobs,-- they all look the same to me. And no I'm not talking about all the non single girls just some few that I see.

Any ways, if those types of girls can get guys than why can't I?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hi there, I hear you. Its tough but the one thing that you didn't consider is...confidence ! I once had a roommate in college who I hung out with. I personally knew nad was told I was prettier than her however she consistenly had a steady stream of dates. So we went out together one night I knew for sure that as soon as we walked in all eyes would be on me and I would steel the night lol however within 30mins she met most the people there, guys were sending her their numbers, two guys actually waited in line to use the same pen to write their numbers down lol and that's when it all clicked for me. Its not about how you look all the time, its about what you think about how you look lol and what you have to offer and if you feel that you are special. Would women craze over Lui bags if they were $5 at the local store...no. They knew what the quality and design was worth and valued it as such now other women value it because they valued it first. So you can't expect someone to think you're special if you don't. What is it that you like about you? What qualities would he fall inlove with? What about you is different than everyone else? If nothing else think of this, there are gorgeous celebrities everyday that are cheated on hale berry, eva langoria, etc. If beauty was all that mattered that wouldn't be the case. Wish you the best

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    • Thanks for the BA. I just want you to like you. I forgot to mention that my confident roommate could not be told that she was not cute, she felt like she should be a model and didn't understand why she wasn't discovered yet lol...its all about confidence.

What Guys Said 6

  • Did you know that what people think is mostly influenced by number of impressions. You can control what you notice consciously to some level. But you are most influenced by number of impressions. People in advertisement know this very well.

    Think about this. Perfect girl for a guy, who he never see never get to know, will never date him, will she?

    So maybe even crappy girls, who are not ashamed to go out there, get a lot of attention. And when a guy does not see any good girl around, he tells himself: Hell, this is what life brings. That could be one thing that stops you from having what you want. And it might not be the only one.

    I would suggest, when you feel like it, you should try no approach and stick to one that works.

    Here is one principle: "If you can, don't and if you don't you must." and stick to what works. Little explanation: If you know that this approach you have tried lot of times and you can approach it like this (and it does not work), then don't do that. If you never do something at all, try it at least few times. You must. And if it works stick to it.

    This will get you where you never been and you will find what you never had. Hopefully what you want.

    Wish you the best.

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  • Im in the same boat, single, and no one is interested in me, but I'm not ugly or fat or weird, I'm kind, simple, sweet, and out going. But I can't find a girl to save my life. Just think of it like this, all the guys you have met, have not been good enough for you, and they knew that, so they never even bothered :) Your just WAY too awesome to be pursued that's all, and nothing wrong with that, just find someone as equally as awesome as you :)

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  • You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile. ~Chuck Palahniuk

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  • Eh..your original statement is incorrect...all males do NOT pursue as such...although ( I suppose I am an Old Dinosaur diehard) I think that a man worth his salt WILL pursue...speaking only for myself, it would not take much at all for a female to discourage me..if she turns me down for a date and gives no reason..I will not ask again...however...if I am seeking a woman..not blizzards, not tornadoes, not family will get in my way..(:(:(:

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  • you said you are waiting for the "right one" that's your mistake, there is nothing wrong with wanting the best for you, but you shouldn't qualify men between sections like: Good or Not Good. Also there has to be something wrong with your personality, maybe you are not as fun or witty as you think you are.

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    • Perhaps, but how I am I supposed to know, I am used to myself. My friends enjoy my company. And I never said I was any of those things, I am just told so.

  • Let me ask you a question or two first. Have you ever gone out of your way to make contact with a guy? Have you ever asked a guy out and then he just flat out said no. With the answer to these questions I will better be able to tell you as to why these type of girls can get guys and you can't.

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    • Yes and yes.

    • Okay, well when you go out of your way a couple things could be the problem. 1, the guy might just find you unattractive. 2, You are approaching these guys the wrong way. Maybe you are doing it in a shy manner, whether on purpose or accidental and they don't find it attractive. Also, when someone tells you the right one will come, that is true, but you can't find them by searching. 9/10 times the right one doesn't seem right until the relationship is and has been serious for some time.

What Girls Said 1

  • I feel the same way, when I would feel like that my mom would always say look at who they are with would you date them? and I would say no. I mean everything happens for a reason you wouldn't want to be with a guy that enjoyed being walked all over by his mean girlfriend. Maybe chaning your scene or something might help :) I think you're beautiful and I'm a stranger so it's not just the people who know you. Don't change a thing about yourself to attract a man always be true to yourself and Mr.Right will come along one day, it's just not time yet. :) I wish you all the best!

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