Do I listen to my boyfriend or my gut?

Ok... My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years now but he has no job, does not study and most times prefers to play vid games than talk with me. He has tried to get a job before but it seems impossible. Later on I met this guy that does pay attention to me, has a job, goes to college and even wanted to go out with me as friends because I told him about my boyfriend. My boyfriend found out about it and told me to not talk to him anymore because I liked him as a friend and I guess he was scared of loosing me all though I was not gonna leave him. Its been weeks almost more than a month since I have talked with that guy and I kinda wish we were still friends, my boyfriend does not want me to talk with him and asks me why do I insist on making friends with him. What do I do? Oh, I'm 19, my boyfriend is 23 and the other guy is also 19, I don't know if that helps.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Impossible to get a job? lol that is pure bull sh*t.

    I knew a former illegal immigrant that was my roommate. I'm not a mr. nice guy but the reason why I didn't tell the authorities was because we both grew up in two different countries with poverty. So I knew the pain she felt. Now this woman did not have a hard time finding a job. She was a chef, she earned 20 an hour. SHE CROSSED THE BORDER TWICE (because she had to be there for her mother's moment of death). She is now married to an American which means she is safe.

    SO my opinion is, move on. A long time ago, the marriage requirements was the ability to provide for your wife. So ask yourself, why waste your time trying to be with someone who can't provide your needs?

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What Guys Said 4

  • Your boyfriend sounds like a loser, to be honest and while I am not you, I would drop him and end up going out with the other guy. There is no point in settling or being with someone who is not doing anything with their life and obviously is not showing that they care about you.

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    • Do you think I should insist in being friends with the other guy still? He was very nice. My boyfriend would be mad at me but he promised he would change and has not shown me he has in any way.

    • I would end up being friends with the other guy and going from there. If he shows to be more interested in you than your current boyfriend, I would switch it up. Your current boyfriend appears to be very possessive as stated above and that cannot lead to a healthy relationship.

  • Your boyfriend seems a little possessive. I would seriously take some time to consider exactly why you are with him and whether or not it might be time to move on.

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    • Well he's my first, I know what we feel for each other is real but I do need more than that in a relationship. I'm just scared he might hate me and that I might not find anyone else. It would be so hard for me to go through all that alone.

    • Common things to feel in your first relationship. To be honest, I don't know you so I can't guarantee how he'll feel or that you'll find anyone better (though I suspect there's a good chance you would). I can't give you reliable insight into your situation. However, I can say that my first relationship lasted almost six years. Looking back on it, that was probably a solid four years longer than it should have lasted. It's hard to break off the first relationship, but sometimes it's for the best.

  • Your boyfriend sounds like he is going nowhere in life. And he doesn't care about you. Dump him for the other guy.

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  • Your gutt.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Regardless of the job and college thing, you don't feel cared about in your current relationship (AND he won't even let you have a guy friend, but don't get me started on that). If I were in your situation, I'd probably already be gone. As TKDKidd said, there's no point in settling. Even if you weren't interested in someone else.

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  • "he has no job, does not study and most times prefera to play vid games than talk with me"

    Uggghhh. If he wanted a job, he'd have one by two years (yes, he should find something, even if it is menial and low-paying, to hold him off). Also, the "preferring to play video games over me" thing is just too much. He needs to grow up.

    Are you romantically/sexually interested in the new guy?

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    • I' m not interested in him. He said he never looked at me as more than friends obviously but I just want to have fun, go out and laugh, make new friends... Blablabla. I'm 19 and I feel like I'm wating my youth :/

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    • I really do like my boyfriend because he is a sweetheart and I care much for him I'm just scared. I know what the right thing to do is, I'm just worried about how he'll feel and ai know I will be hurt and would not even want to talk to the other guy after that. Why are relationships so complicated? :(

    • "sweet" is easy to fake. Someone who tries to control you is not sweet. Do what your gut says. I wasted months of my time with jokers like yours when I was your age. Please, take it from a pro. Dump him if you don't love him anymore and/or if you believe he is going nowhere in life. Definitely dump him if he is controlling, which he is. Oh, and he values video games over you. Wtf? I think a healthy person would rank a significant other AT LEAST a tad higher. Maybe equal if they're serious gamers

  • why are you with this guy? in 3 more years you're going to hate yourself for staying.

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  • Break up with your boyfriend. There's no point in being with the guy.

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  • Based on that alone I'd say dump your current boyfriend. :p Also, go with your gut if that doesn't include staying with your bf.

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  • Your boyfriend needs to grow up and if he doesn't you have a decision to make.

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