How can an adult college student living at home convince her family that not every guy online is a pervert?

I'm nearly 21, still at home and I'll be going away to school in January. Due to my lifestyle, it's easier for me to meet people online. I realize that it doesn't look good to my family that I'm meeting people this way, but I believe most people online are just regular people, and many relationships these days start online. I see the internet as a tool to meet nice people more easily. Bad people exist even in real life, so I think the internet is just as risky as meeting real life people to an extent.

While I understand their concern, how can I get my family to relax and realize that I'm being careful and smart and that they don't need to worry as much as they are about me communicating with people I meet online (especially since most of my friends are states or countries away) ?

Updates:
the end of my question should say "pervert/creep?" Sorry for any possible confusion.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I completely agree with everything you have said! I did online dating on and off for a few years, its a great tool to meet people who you wouldn't normally meet in your everyday life.

    What you need to do is once you find someone who is respectable, have them meet your family. Don't tell them right away that you met online. Let them see how great and normal the guy is.

    I had the same problem with some of my friends. They would roll their eyes at me when I would tell them I was using online dating and that I had a hard time meeting guys in my everyday life. It was hard, I lived in a small town and none of the guys there were into me. So what I did was take my dating life into my hands and start doing something about it.

    I met some great and not so great people online. But that comes with dating whether you meet online or in everyday life.

    I still have friends who think it's weird. But not everyone meets their husband in high school or college, or through friends. Some people need that extra help and it's perfectly normal! I have a friend who met her boyfriend online, and it's nice to have someone I can talk to about it that totally gets it!

    Online dating isn't for everyone, but obviously it's working for you or you wouldn't be doing it. I met my boyfriend of over a year and a half online, and it's been the best relationship I have ever had, my boyfriend is amazing! And he is not a creep or a pervert. He's just a regular guy who thought he would give online dating a try, and I was a normal girl who was having trouble meeting people. We met and have been happy ever since! So it does work.

    I think your family and friend's will just have to get over their reservation. It's their issue not yours, so don't try to own it or change their opinion. Let them see how happy you are with the relationship you get online. They will forget about all that once they meet the guy and find out he is great!

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What Guys Said 1



  • Try to show them you have good procedures for protecting yourself against anyone unsavory that slips through your initial social filters.

    Be specific, and give them examples.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Your parents fears aren't too far off the mark to be honest. You can't convince them otherwise because they have your best interests at heart. Best you can do is not to meet anyone from the internet that you have not seen on cam. If you are about to meet someone off the internet for the first time, make sure it is someone that you have talked to for a long time.. I'm talking at the very least a year, tell someone where and when you are meeting someone or take someone with you. Have you considered introducing a family member to an online friend via Skype or something? Also.. FB adds are good.. you get to see where they're really from, and who they really are... provided that they have legitimate friends and family on their page. But you are right you will meet good and bad people whether it be online or offline.. all you can do is prepare yourself mentally and materially in case something goes wrong... It could happen.

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  • I woulnt call on line people friends, that I haven't met. but they do come close. That's what they have a problem with. So find another word for online friendships. Tell them, its easier to see what they think and write, it's safer then meeting them. At least your on your couch at home with THEM!

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