If a guy likes the chase, how should I go about acting towards him?

how should I act to go about winning his affection and turning our long friendship into more. He's said he thinks I'm gorgeous but it's always be platonic between us.

Updates:
How do I flirt with him?

also, he knows that I've had feelings for him in the past.

and mutual sources have said that he has a thing for me.
we're just friends. He's said that he likes it that way but I keep hearing from mutual sources that he has some feelings; I have heavy feelings for him, which he already knows. Would it be better just to shrug it off and at least act like I've moved on? I'm OK with the platonic thing.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If the guy likes the chase, you're likely going to wanna stop bothering with him. Why? Well think about it, if he likes the chase, once he's caught you, why would he want to bother with you anymore? He'll just go after another girl. That's why playing hard to get is dumb (well one of the many reasons). It only attracts guys who want what they can't have and once they get it, they're bored and move on.

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What Guys Said 10

  • I doubt many guys actually like the chase, unless they're in it for status or something.

    Think about it: It's a nerve-wrecking experience making your feelings clear. If the one you admire gives an attitude of "okay, sure. But now you have to EARN it." well that can be a little more off-putting than anything.

    But like the gal below, I think you should treat him like he's a flirty part of your life, but not your first priority. That is, you aren't bending your normal routine to see him, but are flirty when you DO see him.

    By flirty, I mean conversationally flirty. That is, tossing compliments into your conversation now and again. Verbal hints, so to speak. Even as a joke. Actually, jokes are your friend here. People know there's some truth behind a joke, but that it isn't urgent or serious.

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    • The chase is a game, and I don't think it's good. What is good is what OpenClose recommends above, because the principle of "the chase" is showing that you have your own life, and he is not your first priority.

    • Precisely. If I were a guy, I would rather date YOU as you are.

      It's about like going to a country wanting to get to know the culture, but instead you get the tourist area that changed itself to be more American-friendly.

  • If he really does enjoy the chase that should be a red flag to NOT try to pursue a relationship with him.

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  • Well you like this guy and you know you like him giving him eye contact and smiling at him works a lot in your favor and if he comes to talk to you well then he's chasing you

    I do the same thing with women, I look at them and smile then I look away and in the corners of my eye I see if they still look at me and if theyre still looking after well I don't know 30 seconds to 2 minutes then ill look back and approach to have a chat

    Altough a lot of times it turns into a looking back and stare and look away again altough I don't do it on purpose sometimes

    This has resulted in some women to come around where I am pretty often to see if I approacg talk or they would follow me around (club, street, mall even work) I had a girl come in at the store to ask me for my number but after 2 weeks she went to my boss saying she was going out with me and my boss warned me for her so I blew it off (now she is stalking me still :/ imagine working across a restaurant.. She neverr appeared there now she's there every week)

    I hate the chase myself and I like to turn it around because I know if I have to do the chasing I do weird things.. I can give you my recent mistake: I asked a girl I knew for her phone number last week: I don't know and font have my phone with me this week I ran into her in the club again and I gave a girlfriend of mine and her boyfriend money for something to drink.. She wanted something too and I was grabbing for my credit card, after 2 minutes of showing my pockets I couldn't find it (she was holding her hand all the time) and I spit in it

    I guess next time I meet her in the club ill find out what she tought of that

    Hopefully this helps

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  • If you're determined never to have any romantic relationship, you should be up front with him. Otherwise he'll soon get tired of the chase, all the same..

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  • You have heard wrong. Guys don't like the chase.

    By the way - if he would have enough balls to ask you out, he would already have done that. "You're gorgeous" - it's something you don't say to just-friends.

    ..he already knows you dig him and he's still not doing anything. Girl - forget him. He's not a man as he's not acting already.

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    • He's not being a wimp, he's just not interested. Don't insult a fellow because he won't chase every girl who likes him, lol.

    • Do you call your female friends gorgeous?

    • Two or three of them I have, lol.

  • If he knows you have feelings for him and hasn't done anything about it, he doesn't want to be more than friends. Sorry.

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  • you should focus more on your qualities instead of games. Like for instance: You should make sure you have fun and share intimacy between both of you, make sure that both of you connect with each other. Most importantly make sure that you can get to know him well and have fun!

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    • You may have a different concept of what "the chase" is than I do. A guy chasing a girl doesn't mean "game playing," The chase or playing hard to get is an effective way to distinguish the contenders from the pretenders. I think a little chase helps girls avoid getting hurt from guys that uses wanting to commit as a pretext to get sex from them. A pretty girl is sitting alone, then is appraoched; she says no to the guy, he says have nice day, then walks away. The next guy comes and she tells

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    • that is complete bs, there isn't such a thing as hard to get to distinguishing men between contenders and prentenders, because at the end of the day the one who pretends the best is always the winner, it doesn't matter if he is good or bad, because if what you say is actually true, we wouldn't have girls whinning why they can't find a nice guy or their boyfriends would never cheat on them.

    • I didn't imply that it is full proof. How many guys that you know will pursue a girl for a significant amout of time if she decided to take things slow or does not put out if he just wanted sex? Sure, are guys that would play the game to get what they want, but there are far more guys that would not.

  • Flirt with him if he talks to you, play with your hair and hit him if he makes fun of you, whatever you do, you don't go up and talk to him.

    Dress very well (not overly sexy) and put yourself in his eye line, keep your hair long and smell good.

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  • Chase = playing games

    Guys don't like playing those kinds of games.

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  • Id say keep dating. If he has feelings but won't act on them then why wait around?

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What Girls Said 6

  • Date another guy. Then he'll suddenly be more interested. But I wouldn't go for him even then. He doesn't sound like boyfriend material.

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  • If you know for certain he likes the chase, make your self frequently unavailable. Make sure you flirt with him and such but you take your time when responding. Don't get caught up in making him your first priority, but make him feel special. That should get him !

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    • Actually, yeah. That's not bad. Act like he's a part of your life, but just that, a PART. basically, act as you normally would with an acquaintance, but with flirty mixed in.

    • Good answers, both of you

  • I don't know about you but I like to be straight up with people especially in this thing. I would try and just say something like "hey have you ever thought of taking it to the next level? if not just be honest. I have feelings and I was getting mix signals and have heard some people say you are feeling the same way. so what's going on?' something on the lines of that. I hate playing games with people especailly when it comes to my emotions because then it seems that they don't want the same thing and just want to play.

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  • Don't chase him, let him chase you instead. Teasfully play with him, but don't over do. Don't yes to everything he says are put put him on the idol stool...

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  • whats his age?

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  • I wouldn't have time for the chase, If anything he better chase me.

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    • Hold on a sec. what's with all the recommendations for the guy to do the chasing?

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