Is this normal to do for a relationship?

Long story short, I met a guy, we really liked each other, got together, then broke it off two days after because we rushed into it and both agreed to spend time as friends. We talk every day, and our conversations are a mix of getting to know each other, regular talk, and flirting.

Ever since two nights ago when we stayed up till 3 in the morning texting each other, because of our conversation I wondered if he had gotten back together.

I finally took the chance and asked him if we were last night, and he said we were, but it's not open at the moment. He said having a girlfriend right now would be hard because he wants to get his life together and everything first. But he said in his heart, I am his girlfriend and I told him I felt the same.

So we're together, but we're not really officially out there open in a relationship. Is that normal?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Seems like these days it is, but it's all a cop-out.

    I could easily say the same thing about getting my life together before wanting a commitment, but that won't stop me from engaging in a relationship if I see one I really am interested in.

    If he can't be in a relationship until he gets his life together, he also shouldn't be "together" with someone either. Both things are the same, will use an equal amount of his time and attention. The difference is that one requires him to make a commitment to being with just you and nobody else, and the other allows him the freedom to continue exploring other people.

    Like I said its a cop out, a lame excuse at best.

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What Guys Said 2

  • This guy is playing games and no this is not normal. I think you should move on,

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  • He's not ready for the relationship.

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What Girls Said 1

  • just curious. How were you 'together', if it was for two days? do you mean, I had sex, or jut decided, you're 'together'?

    im thinking something similar to another answerer. life can be super hectic bla bla blas. if you REALLY want to be with someone, you recognize you may not always have that chance. instead of saying no ' I have life to sort out, etc' you just adjust things so you can be with the person. like maybe you can't see them as often as you would like. or the time spent together, is not exactly what id want it to be, but is together. I e just hanging out,. not going out, because its too complicated or w/e

    ive made an effort to be with someone., even when id spent my whole life, believing in not being with anyone. because I wanted him. when it matters, it matters. & everything detail, is something you work thru. not use as an excuse.

    i think if you really want to be with someone, an obstacle is something you work thru. when you don't care that much, the obstacle becomes the excuse. it holds a lot of power.

    hes manipulating you, you're letting him.

    he either wants to be with u, or he doesn't. what does in his heart as apposed to out there , mean? you're not a rodeo horse, he has to buy a stable for, before he shows you off to buyers... . you're together, or you're not.

    thats _your_ decision, not his alone. both of you. he doesn't decide.

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