Is it lame to contact this girl again??

so I met this girl 4 months ago, in the beginning it was the most romantic start you can imagine, almost like a movie, we were constantly texting each other and our connection developed really fast and really deep, however it ended in the most bitterest way in just 30 days.

In the beginning she was much more interested in me than I did in her, so I never even tried to kiss her when I totally had the chance, and we both knew we had other romantic interests in our lives and we were OK with that. However, gradually it slipped into more of a friendship and she lost that flame for me, but after a date with her I started having real feelings for her, but then she slept with a guy just a few days later who she knows is not serious about her but she said she really like him! So I got really angry and she said she really regretted it and was sad and wanted to meet and talk about it but then I said the worst things to her over whatsapp which made her say she really hates my guts. And after that she became much colder and detached in her texts, the meaningless texting continued here and there for about a month, one night I was drunk and texted her "I really miss you when will I see you again" and she sent her photo and said "now you can see me" and I never texted back and she hasn't texted me since, this was over a month ago.

So I have not seen her for 3 months now and I know she most definitely have been seeing other guys and met new guys in this time, she is this really socialable girl with 1900 friends on Facebook, whereas I have not really met any girls since. I deleted her number from my phone to stop myself from drunk-texting her again, and I have read a lot of stuff on relationships and now I totally understand what I did wrong and how I could have done better, and everyday I can't stop thinking and missing her. The only way I can get to her now is sending a message to her on Facebook, and I really want to do that, maybe just a simple "hey", and restart this relationship Because it feels like an unfinished business.

Now, would that be lame? what would she think of me? is it better to just move on, meet new girls and forget about her? would I be able to forget about her once I meet other new girls?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's hard, but I think you have to let her go. I mean, she did sleep with another guy a few days after you two went on a date... kinda not cool, in my mind. And in my experience, sometimes I think I want someone and I obsess over them just because I can't have them. That might be the case here, since she is so unavailable to you. If you are okay with keeping the relationship at a friendship, then I would say contact her, because that is probably going to be what happens. However, I do think moving on and meeting new girls would help you get over her the best.

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What Girls Said 1

  • you only wanted her after you thought she might not want you. as you said, you didn't like her nearly as much as you thought, she liked you. we don't know if that's true. we do know you thought it was true. & when you no longer thought it was true, you wanted her.

    i don't think you genuinely like her. I think its a sort of gam, your not aware of.

    send her w/e message you want. I just don't think your good for each other. but do as you think is best. its your life, itll be your regrets or not.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Your friend doesn't give a damn about your happiness, and any future attempts to reconcile with her will further put her in the proverbial "driver seat" of any future or potential relationship. Do you want that? Didn't think so. The only unfinished business is saying "goodbye".

    Bottom line -- and this goes for your relationship as well as 100s of others on this site -- if a relationship is costing you more than the benefit you get out of it, it is time to leave that relationship. The "cost" is measured in terms of finance, time, emotion, heartache, effort, etc, etc, etc. The simplest measurement of "benefit" is happiness. Do the math... you are overdrawn on that bank account, bro, time to cash in what chips you have left and walk away from the table.

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