Why is love so hard to find? I'm wondering if I will ever find it.

im 23 and never been in love and I'm wondering if I will ever find it I'm begining to give up on it and I've never been on a actual date


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Because it's something serious that could change the rest of your life. If love was easy to find, everybody would fall in love all the time, which would lead to more heartbreaks/depression/anger/violence, ...

    Just enjoy the single life while you can, enjoy your life now, see where it goes..

    "Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all", I don't agree to this. When you loved and lost, you know what you miss and you want it back. If you don't find that, you get angry/upset/ sad, ...

    But when you never loved, you don't know what you're missing so anything close to love feels great.

    Don't give up! I've been on..what, 4 dates in my entire life? Not even all with different guys, haha, so what? You're 23, you got your entire life ahead of you, enough time to find a girlfriend and start a family!

    Just go out, meet new people and see where life takes you.

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What Girls Said 30

  • Do what you love, and you might just find who you love too.

    I've been in love one time, and I found him by posting extensive details about Pokemon training on Facebook.

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  • give up? But you've never been on a date...you'd have to date a whole bunch before you find it. god to places on weekends where you can see your dream girl going. You won't find her, if you're sitting at home. There is no magical places where all the chicks you like hang out, same goes for the ladies.

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    • but some of that stuff isn't me I'm not gonna change for a girl I don't care if I never find it I have a different way of doing things

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    • Sorry to tell ya buddy but that's one of the main qualities that comes with love. You'll be willing to compromise on things when you find the right one. It won't even be a second thought you'll do it because you love her. Love will undoubtedly change you if you ever do find it.

  • No worries man I somehow always end up with friends and while I have had relationships I have only been on like 4 real dates. Most of the time we just do the stuff we always do so why go out when we are more comfortable eating pizza and watching a movie. And by real date I mean dress up and go out. Though I think my bestie has taken me on more than guys lol we do a friend date for our birthdays every year.

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    • yea id rather stay in and have pizza and a movie to but that's not really until you gain the persons trust I think

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    • So did I but unless I figure out how to afford it it's not happening for me any time soon

    • yea its just about working together with your partner if you can't work together it won't happen

  • I'd done more than you at 13. You've been missing out, mate. I believe that for every one of us there's another that we need - and not just one but a lot of them. They may be hard to find and if you don't go on dates or look around, you are making it hard for yourself. And being in love is voluntary - I don't fall in love because I don't want to be lumbered just yet. Do you send out a sign that you're available for something serious? Are you easy to talk to? If you stay tightly wrapped by other girls, they can't even get to you.

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    • well at 13 I wasn't worried about that I was getting high and stuff 13 year olds shouldn't be worried about love and stuff anyways lol

    • Exactly. At 13, girls were the last thing on my mind too :)

  • Well then you can't say you've never been in love if you've never even attempted to love some one (date). And love is really something that you can't control. You find your self falling for a person without you realizing it. All of their quirks and imperfections all seem perfect and suits them to you. You first have to be willing to welcome it in before you can actually love.

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  • Dude you're still a baby and have your whole life ahead of you. Don't give up!

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  • It isn't you just need to step your game up

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  • Because its priceless

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  • Let love come to you. Focus on what you have and be grateful. Work on your goals and aspirations and learn about yourself. That way you can be a good person for whomever you end up with.

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  • Love is not something you find, it will find you out of nowhere, from who you least expect it. Don't loose hope.

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  • people those who believe they have true love end up in break up and separation. So what you think remaining single is better or being in a relationship ?

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  • Well I've never been in love. I do have a boyfriend but I don't love him. I don't know if I will.

    But the way I see it is, you don't find love. Love finds YOU

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  • I think true love is hard to find

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  • If you're 23 and never been on an actual date, you need to ask someone out! There's also dating sites that could be a great start to a relationship

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  • your still young,dont give up :) soon you will meet your ms. right :)

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    • yea hopefully I think I did find someone but gonna give it a bit

  • There's someone put there for everyone never give up there's someone out there

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  • Love is hard to find in my opinion because once you find it it'll be so worth

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  • You will find the right girl or boy

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  • Same here I completely understand you because I have not had a relationship yet either and I wonder the same thing sometimes but I guess u just have to wait because your love story is still being written and just know this the longer u wait the better

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  • Well how are you going to find it if you don't try? Get out there and go on dates! Someone out there is waiting for you too! You'll regret it if you don't

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  • Am 21 and still didn't fall in love so chill

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  • Love isn't hard to find it's just that many people rush to be in a relationship ..,before you get into a relationship try and think so deeply if that's what you truly what if it's even possible you can write down a list of things that make you want to be in a relationship with that person ..

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  • Love is hard to find because some people dont know how to admire it & some people are afraid of it .. Youll find someone its just not time yet or maybe you haven't found someone

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  • Because if it was easy no one would apprexiate what they have

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  • you will make a move

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  • People don't open up or take chances often

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  • To many people who are messed up these days and don't know how to give love.

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  • because your young, don't go looking for love it will find you!

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    • well I think I found someone but I don't know I mean I like her a lot we have only been talking for about a month or so but she has two kids that's not a problem but I don't know what to do

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    • awee yeah there aren't a lot of those

    • yea a lot of girls these days are either shallow or just to into themselves and I know I'm not the best looking guy out there but shouldn't what's on the inside count for something

  • Love will hit you when you least expect. Its when you lose it that's the hard part.

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    • yea I hope so I'm not exactly the best looking guy either there's a lot of shallow women these days I think

    • Idk. I never really judged a guy by how he looked. Its more about how him and I connect & if we connect. Cause if your gonna be with someone its got be more than based on looks. I find guys that are considered hot..are normally too full of themselves & are most of the d***s lol that's cause they can get any girl they want so there normally jerks. Least a guy that's considered more "normal" looking knows how to be down to earth and real

    • yea I'm pretty down to earth laid back can be a d*** when needed lol its hard to ifnd someone that's not shallow and a lot of girls are into themselves to much to

What Guys Said 14

  • Love is hard to find because people never bother to look inward, and I don't mean this in some bullsh*t Yoda sense either. There's this misconception about love that people seem to get from Disney movies that enable you to think that all your problems will be solved when you find the right person.

    The right person is the person that you see in the mirror. People constantly try and run into the hearts and thighs of the opposite gender in a desperate attempt to quell the turmoil that lies within them, whether that turmoil is loneliness, physical alleviation, or a sense of self-acceptance, it doesn't matter. However, when low and behold they find out that the person they turned out to be really isn't who agrees with them, they once again seek out someone else to fill the void, only for the dreaded cycle to begin all over again.

    You will never be able to find someone to complete you, only you can complete you, and from within you can finally truly understand what it is you want and who is good for you.

    Or some romantic bullsh*t like that.

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    • I really like your answer.

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    • This is a really interesting thought

    • Yeah, double bacon cheeseburgers really are interesting.

  • If you search for love as it is a thing to be found then you will never find it.

    Love is a state of being and not a possession.

    Like Ghandi said:

    "Be the change that you want to see in the world."

    ..and modify that to:

    "Be the love you want to find in the world"

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  • It's all about patience.

    There are so many people these days going out day and night trying to find the love of their lives.

    Something a lot of couples have been telling me is that you have to stop looking, that's when it will find you.

    *sidenote: girls can automatically sense if you are desperate or not the moment they see you and talk to you. having the state of mind where you have enough going on in your life that you don't have time for girls will help you out

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  • sometimes I begin to doubt its existence... then I see some couples who really seem to have it. so it does exist and don't give up hope, you'll find it someday. the hardest thing is waiting and finding fillers to occupy your time. but I believe everyone is strong enough to take that on. stay strong buddy and good luck!

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  • wow 23.. you are young I'm 27 and still haven't been on a date.. I've almost given up.. well I more so just walk around and not really care much about anything else going on.

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  • It's not as great as people lead you to believe. If you want to experience it, you'll have it in good time. Most important of all, love yourself. That's the only person who should truly matter to you.

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  • It isn't hard to find, people just aren't looking for it. They're to busy trying to be like the douchebags on jersey shore. Maybe after getting knocked up with someone eles's kids they'll try to 'find love' which won't last either. society is f***ed.

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  • anything worth having never comes easy unfortuneately

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  • Your problem is not finding love, your problem is attracting and seducing girls. You see a girl, feel attracted to her, flirt with her, go out with her and THEN you may fall in love with her.

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  • Did you look under the couch

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  • Because it's an illusion. This love thing doesn't really exist. All that crap you see in the movies & read about is one big conspiracy for the sole purpose of making $$$ on Valentines Day. It's something you eat. Allen Candy Co. started this love thing I think. They messed up because if you look at the really old dictionaries, Love is listed as a noun.

    All those happy couples you see around, not real!, only employees.

    It's just like Santa Claus. It took me until I was 35 to realize he wasn't real. Sick, sick people to lead us on like that tho. But don't feel bad, I'm a very smart person & was fooled also.

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  • Why is love so hard to find?

    Probably because it's not something that is meant to be found, so looking for it becomes pretty hard. No one truly finds love; love, on the other hand, finds you. If you go out trying to look for love, love will do its best to hide from you. So, just go about each day and don't worry about a damn thing. When the time comes, it will find its way to you.

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  • You'll find it. You have plenty of time, but I'm almost certain that it isn't all it's cracked up to be, so no worries.

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    • yea I hope so I've been told that to but it just never happened I really didn't care for awhile

  • Because women are stupid, give up and wait until your 30+. they'll be throwing themselves at you then!

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    • lol I thought about this one day and I told myself F*** it I'm just going to find someone older then me.. it kinda worked but still working on it.. At least with her being older less whining.

    • i always get the older women not that older but older but I don't find myself wanting to stay with them

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