We don't fight. . . . problem?

I just started dating this AMAZING guy. We have had conflict, but it never amounted to anything because I am so open with expressing myself and he is quick to listen. So recently, one of my friends was talking and he said, "If there's no fighting, then it's not a real relationship." After I heard that, I don't know what to think about us anymore. Is it true? Do we really not have a real relationship?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're relationship sounds fine to me in my humble opinion.

    There are many couples out there, married and dating that don't have anywhere near the same number of fights as the average couple. Some times people just get along well, can read each other and in general have excellent communication between each other. Unfortunately this is another example of a stupid social stereotype saying that couples **HAVE** to (or are expected too) fight in order for the relationship to be legitimate (in other peoples eyes). (Begin sarcasm) Because you know, your relationship has to live up to everyone else expectations and in no way live up to yours. Allowing your relationship to live up to your expectations would be just wrong! (End sarcasm, please don't take offense).



    Your friends response signals to me (in my opinion) he has not had the kind of good fortune you are currently having and is in fact jealous. It's a very common human reaction to get angry or annoyed at another person happiness or good fortune. As a result to make ourselves feel better we criticize or try to ruin that person(s) good fortune or happiness by causing sadness or misfortune. The word for this kind of behavior is often referred to as Schadenfreude (Yes the German's found a word for that :P). I have also observed as a species we tend to dislike it when one of our own gets any sort of advantage in anything and in turn will ridicule a person for it or seek to remove that advantage. In this case your kind of relationship could be considered an advantage over those who do not have this kind of a relationship (or seen as such).I believe you are being ridiculed for your advantage of having an excellent and very stable relationship with your partner.



    In a more extreme (emphases on extreme) case a person might seek to destroy that relationship. Think of a home wrecker, that would be an example of an extreme case of ruining a relationship due to (in some cases, not all) jealousy. I'm not saying that's happening to you I was just providing an example. Again there isn't anything wrong here, enjoy your relationship and see how things go. Who knows, you may end up with this kind of a relationship for the rest of your days, time will tell. :)

    Take this with a grain of salt, good luck I hope this helps a little. :)

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What Guys Said 4

  • And this my friends is what's wrong with society. Your friend should be shot in the face. Seriously though, why would fighting be a good thing? You most certainly have a real relationship and I suggest you continue to refrain from fighting unless you want him to leave you.

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  • I pity the fool! Your friend is nuts... and a fool. Not fighting in a relationship is a dream come true. Think about it do you want to spend most of the day with someone you enjoy the company of and laugh with and are happy with OR with some miserable pain in the butt that's yelling and argueing all day? You have an amazing relationship! A relationship is when two people care about each other and all that stuff, its not measured by how angry or how many fights you can fit into one day.

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  • So now you à ant fights to occur? If everything is going well then what is the problem?

    Do you realize your relationship is better then the average one? A conflict is a fight miss.. Don't forget that

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  • Yes.. We like fights

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What Girls Said 2

  • LIES. I've been dating the same guy for over a year, almost 2 now, and we've never actually gotten into a huge argument, and its because we communicate well. You just said yourself you're good at expressing yourself and he listens. That's called good communication. Plus you just started dating you said, so its not strange.. why would you WANT to fight with him? Don't listen to your friend, maybe that's his definition of a "real relationship" but if you're perfectly happy, don't let other people's definitions or opinions influence how you see your own relationship.

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  • Nah, you said yourself you JUST started to date this guy. If you never have a disagreement in like 30 years of marriage, THEN something is wrong. You just know how to express yourself and are lucky to have found a guy who listens and is willing to talk things through!

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