How can I stop feeling so guilty with women?

I feel guilty and bad if I don't pay 100% attention to whomever girl I may like. It's both that I need her attention (needy) but also that I feel mean if kind of do my own business. I'm here for the guilt part. Don't just tell me STOP feeling guilty. It's not use. Just some real things which work and can help making a genuine inner shift. If you have suggestion for te needy bit too, all the better. Cheers


Most Helpful Girl

  • Replace your automatic thoughts with something more productive. When you hear your inner voice say, "I'm a bad person because ..." replace it with a thought that "I am a good person and it's normal to want to do my own thing."

    Same goes with the neediness. When you hear your inner voice saying, "She MUST like me or (horrible outcome)" replace it with "It'd be cool if she liked me, but if not I will find someone who is a better fit."

    It sounds cheesy, but I am actually going through counseling for this type of negative thougth pattern stuff (not from relationships, but childhood experiences crap) and it actually does work. I find myself not wigging out over normal things and not beating myself up for things that are out of my control.

    • Yeaaaaah I agree with this answer! you can also try to occupy your time with productive hobbies and such to if you need to focus your energy outward as well.

    • hmm you sound a lot like me :(


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What Girls Said 2

  • I have read this over a few times, trying to get honest and helpful answer for you. I really don't have much, I won't tell you to stop feeling guilty. I know how annoying that is, its like when people tell me, stop overthinking. Sometimes its easier said than done.

    I don't mean to be rude but have you thought of seeking professional help for this? Its hard to know otherwise, since I don't actually know you. Maybe try talking to whatever girl is involved and be up front about it, she may be OK with it or she may have some ideas herself to help you. I can only imagine how hard this is for you.

    Also I found this


  • To me the only reason I would feel guilty of anything and the relationship , Is if I was doing something wrong. But if your working and doing what you suppose to do why feel guilty


What Guys Said 1

  • feel guilty or go broke.