We've been dating 3.5months, I'm 31, she's 26. And I love this girl to death because she's so incredibly sweet, gentle, patient, and she is the polar opposite of me in many ways. I'm very A type personality, outgoing, highly wound, and she grounds me. That however is a part of my struggle, I am very emotional and communicative, also very affectionate physically and she is not. I am usually the one making the first move, first to say I love you or initiate sex. She doesn't run up and hug me if she misses me and I would love that. She also is texting a lot of the time when we are together and I feel she should leave that for another time, it's rude!
I've spoken to her about the communication thing and physicall affection thing twice and she told me she was brought up in a home where no one ever even so much as hugged! I'm doing my best to be understanding and patient, waiting for her to come out of her shell. I've also spoken to her about the 5 love languages but she doesn't know what hers is...I don't think she knows herself or what she wants which is freaky since I know what I want. She has improved slightly, and wrote me a wonderful birthday card explaining what she feels and it meant so much to me! Her friend also spoke to me about her and that I just need to give her time...
What do I do? Is time really going to help us? I'm mixed with love, hurt, isolation, etc...I really care about her but I want to feel that she loves me too. I know that I have why insecurities and am impatient, no doubt those are things I am working on...
Serious responses only please, this is incredibly personal
Most Helpful Girl
Get her to take a test and figure out what her love language is. link
I think time would help as well, and if her friend also validated that, then trust it. And as you can see, she did improve with the card as well. I actually dated a guy who didn't tell me he loved me until 11 months into the relationship. 3.5 is nothing haha, and I'm very much like you, super physical and affectionate. But I thought he was worth it and I waited.
What's important to remember, is that you should not feel hurt or isolated because of the way she is. That's just her, and obviously her love language is different than yours but it doesn't mean that she doesn't care for you immensely. Work on it together, and if somehow you find that you CANT deal with her way of expression, next time you will know.2