Guys: Would you be suspicious of dating a girl who is at least 21 or older & never had a boyfriend?

Guys: Would you be suspicious of dating a girl who is at least 21 or older & never had a boyfriend?

If so why?

Updates:
Well most guys prefer girls who are experienced that's why I asked?
Well will a guy ever take advantage of a girl for being innocent?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It wouldn't make any difference to me. I might be a little concerned if she was in her LATE 20s, but at 21, you're still in "late bloomer" territory and not all that uncommon.

    It's not that guys prefer experienced girls (though some do), it's that they are concerned both that the girl may have a bunch of baggage from her past, and/or that she might have very conservative or even prudish values and won't want the same things in a relationship that he does.

    And, there definitely are SOME guys who will take advantage of an inexperienced girl, so you need to be careful. Mainly, you need to take things slow, and check in with your more experienced friends to get their opinions too, because when you have feelings for a guy, you tend to overlook a guy's flaws, even really bad ones, until it's too late.

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What Guys Said 11

  • I guess if you were older, or I weren't so much older than you, it would be different. I tend to think subjectively, and maybe I just go for easy girls. If by my words I've thee offended, but think of this and all is mended:

    A 21 year old is by far more likely to be a virgin and/or never had a significant other by their age. Even when I was at a (then) party college, I didn't expect every girl to want to knock boots, or to have knocked boots before.

    And you're not even talking about sex, maybe. You said you hadn't had a boyfriend by age 21. So if I put on my Way Back hat and go thinking back to my early twenties (Ah, early nineties shorts, so mid thigh and breezy - they'd be great in this heat), that would be easier to believe. I hadn't really had many girlfriends by college, either.

    So if that is a better way of putting things than waiting until I've had a few and an ex has posted something catty on her fb page, and being a cynical old bastard, I'm happy w/my do-over answer now.

    Mea Culpa.

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  • After reading one seriously nerdy study on the economics of dating, I have a different attitude towards all women's backstory. Listen to the motivation in the narration. Is she trying to convince me of a truth, or trying to convince herself that I'll believe it? In the US, depending on the study, women under-report their sex partners by a 1:4 to 1:8.6 ratio.

    Haha, woooooh, tell me whatever you want, you're more experienced than I am, probably! Which makes sense considering men's role in courtship. How many times has a woman walked up to me with bedroom eyes, practically saying, "Hi, I'm horny, how about you?" Yet it happens to women all the time. Practically has to. It's expected. And women are expected to be pure and virtuous, odd characteristics for mammals - we are all animals, right? Why wouldn't human women get turned on and want to sleep with some attractive male? Because of the Victorian era and Conservatism. Urges are beneath the virtuous, child rearing, PTA member woman.

    1 in 10 children in this country are born to a different father than they think they have. Let's drop the illusions. Who cares?

    ___________________________________________________________________________

    I don't care if she's thinking I'm deluded enough to believe her. As long as somewhere before she loses all respect for me, I let her know I thought it was always a bit of a cover story.

    I just let it slide because I can accept that something happened in her past that made her ashamed, or is painful to remember, or for any other reason she needs to keep secret her life with men. If she isn't pretending too hard when she's with me, and I can make her feel comfortable enough to start telling me about some of the almost-boyfriends she had, I'm happy.

    I can also accept that some younger men are going to wail on me. I was once willfully, desperately naive, too. Thought I'd be happier singing out of the same hymnal as everyone else. But it's not me. After the battles lost and won, I know the enemy was me. Because I didn't open my eyes and wake up. Does not affect my love for women, or for life, in the least. Improves it. Now I look for grown women with libidos and a taste for wine and good music. Who have grown up tastes, and aren't playing with little doll houses, sizing me up for a Ken tuxedo.

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    • So you think I would lie about never having a boyfriend. Why would I do that? That's very ignorant.

    • It's not accusing you of something to state my observations. You are perfectly fine w/me.

      I'm simply a proponent of gender balancing - not really making men and women identical beings. We may end up androgynous in a bazillion years, but not anytime soon.

      Occasionally I may get a little bent out of shape and project on the Internet. I know it's the first time anyone's done it, but I'm sure we'll all deal.

      If you've never had a boyfriend, you never had a boyfriend. End of story.

  • Not so much suspicious, but surprised. I'd like to know why in her words that it hasn't happened until she met me?

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    • Update: Who says we want an experienced girl? I rather have a girl who is open-minded about men and their needs, than one who has been through a lot of "experience" with the kinds of men she now hates, and might take some of that anger out on me. Inexperience is just fine as long as you keep an open mind and are sweet.

    • Second update: Yes, a guy could take advantage of her. That being said, all people, men and women, are capable of taking advantage of someone with or without experience. Individuals matter, which is why you need to start getting some experience with your eyes open. Don't make excuses for bad behavior on the part of the other person, especially seriously bad behavior. Break it off quickly before you get emotionally attached and find a new guy if needed.

  • Nah. I'd be alright with it. I mean obviously I'd wonder why, and I'd probably ask at some point, but it's not like there's anything wrong with it.

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    • Yeah. Well, guys are different. Some prefer experience. Some don't. Some just plainly don't care.

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    • Well when I think of innocence I think of purity.

    • You sound religious.

  • No, in a way it might be kind of refreshing knowing that she isn't full of expectations in the same way. She's not always measuring you up to other guys

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  • Imo that's nothing to be suspicious about.

    I would just presume that she's very particular about who she's in a relationship with, instead of having a boyfriend before "just to pass the time".

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  • "Suspicius" makes it sound as if she is in the wrong somehow for being single. Way too many factors to consider: Shyness, depression, low self-image, the faith factor, poorly socialized, bad experience with a male, relationship anxiety etc. Approach with caution and gentlness.

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  • Suspicious of what?

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    • @update: Everyone has their own time line for entering a relationship. People have all different reasons for not committing to a person and being in a monogamous relationship. It's not unusual for young women to be very concerned about their first relationship, kiss, who they lose their virginity to ect. They have high expectations when they are young, searching for the perfect man... They might date one, and then another, and another and say he's just not the one. A lot of girls go through that

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    • I don't think it's my fault. I do talk to some guys maybe not all the time, but sometimes I do.

    • Well, you say that you are really nice girl & very pretty, you don't seem to have low self esteem although by my standards you are probably a little shy. Many younger guys tend to think shy good looking girls are taken. The more outgoing flirty girls tend to get more attention because they are putting themselves out the and not flying under the radar. Good luck. Send me a message if you want to talk more some time. night. =)

  • no, because I'm 24 and never been in a relationship, still singe as well

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  • Id be a little surprised but nothing serious I guess.

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  • No. The belief that EVERYONE should have had some sort of relationship before they're 21 is a load of bull and completely unrealistic. just as there are people out there who would have had a dozen partners by 21 there are people who'd have had none at all and they shouldn't be ridiculed for it.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Suspicious? As in she must be a spy or an escaped prisoner? lol

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    • Well, you weren't very clear, were you?

    • I was being clear when I said guys only.

    • Too bad, free site. lol You're not the boss of me. lol

  • Most likely if you're that inexperienced you're probably awkward and dorky and guys will be able to tell, or at least they won't be surprised.guys who want to play you will either think that's very good (you'll be more gullible and less wise to game) or very bad (not very sexual, uptight).

    Its best to date guys who are inexperienced and awkward so you both have that in common

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  • i highly doubt it

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