Scared to tell my boyfriend I'm going out with my friends?

I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend where I pretty much stay home all the time to talk to him which I really don't mind doing because I enjoy it. However sometimes I enjoy going out with friend but when I do he gets really moody, angry and upset about it and pretty much stops talking to me for a few days..

This is really upsetting for me because it feels like I can't do anything.. and when it comes to me wanting to go out I feel really guilty and I end up just staying at home. We have had a HUGE fight over it before and said he was really sorry and he will try not to get so upset over it again but I haven't had the chance to test this out..

i have my year 12 formal on Friday which has an after party I really want to go to but I need to tell my boyfriend about it but when I think about it I get this gut wrenching feeling in my stomach. I'm so scared to tell him I'm going out with friends from how he's acted in the past.

Should it be like this? how do I bring it up? what should I do? :(

well I tols him and he reacted the way I thought he would not to way I wanted him to.. lol said nothing to me except "k" and "im busy" for an hour then blocked me on :/


Most Helpful Guy

  • He's an insecure child. You need to be the grown-up here. Tell him you have a life, he doesn't get to decide what you do, and if he doesn't like it, he's too immature for you and you'll dump him.

    Don't fight with him over it. Don't get into a prolonged discussion. Lay down the law. Tell him exactly how it is, and then move on.

    Your boyfriend is supposed to make your life better, not fill your guts with fear.


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What Guys Said 5

  • u are in a long distance relationship and obviously you need people to spend your time with. Just online chats are not enough. You should talk to him and make things very clear between you two otherwise someone would eventually gonna go for brk up. Both of you need your space and he should trust u. You talk to him on daily basis. Even if 2-3 days just get passed with out talking to him won't make you guys crazy.

    And seriously honey. Never think that how should you bring something up to someone you are in relationship with. Just make sure to get things simple in your relations and it'd be really easy to understand each others side. Now you are worried about how to bring this up, probably someday it could be a bigger problem.

    Just ask him nicely, very normally and then tell him that "if he doesn't wish you to go then you will say no as last time it created a huge mess between us. That's why I m asking you before I make any plans for that party."

  • he seriously blocked I guess you are free now...go to the party and no need to contact him anymore...if he wants to talk to you then let him come to u. Otherwise he would never realize his faults. You have to wait and see his reactions.

  • Is your friend (singular, not plural) you go out with male or female?

    I'll make it clear - it should never be a problem when you go out with friends... as long as all or most of them are girls.

    Not to mention it should never be a problem if you hang out with another girl.

    If you go out with a friend, who is a guy - alone, while taken in a long-distance relationship it's a step too far.

    You have to be considerate to your boyfriend, or else.. why are you together in the first place?

    ...and I'm almost completely sure you would feel infuriated if he would be hanging out with a female friend, many girls have this way of thinking, that it's OK if they do it but somehow not OK if her boyfriend does the same...

    • of course they are female friends, I know not to hang around guys cos then I understand why he gets pissed

    • Well then he's being a moron.

      It should never be a problem when you hang out with girls.

  • Tell him you're going out, period, and that if he has a problem with it, it's his problem. He seems way to controlling and jealous. If he can't change, move on.

  • short and simple he should respect your space. he must have a lot right?


What Girls Said 3

  • I don't like the way this sounds at all. From the way you describe it, your boyfriend is to some extent trying to control who you hang out with, and gets angry at you when you attempt to have a normal social life, leaving you feeling isolated. This is NOT a healthy relationship.

    Go to your formal, go to your after-party. It's your life and your friends, you deserve to go and should go. Your boyfriend should learn that it's not his place to control your social life (or your life in general for that matter!), and if he can't handle that and stick to it, you should leave him. In fact, you really shouldn't be in a relationship with this guy in the first place if he makes you feel guilty about wanting to go out with friends or punishes you for doing so by giving you the silent treatment. Stop enabling this behavior and dump this loser.

  • this is not even a question. a relationship, is not endentured servitude. you have a right to a life, regardless of who you are dating, or why, or how.

    tell him yore going ot & that you'll talk to him whenever your time is schedule.

    he does not have a right to tell you what to do. he can _feel_ however he wants about it.

    instead of telling you what to do & trying not to get angry., he needs to stop telling you what to do--if he's angry, he's angry.

    you stop catering to his irrational behavior. yore just encouraging him.

    why would you stay home all day-for any reason?

    youre letting him bully you, if your dong things based on the fear of him getting upset.

    get a back bone. stand up for yourself.

    Seriously, its not a relationship, if you're living in fear. its slavery.

  • get out while you can, trust me! I'm 28 years old and I been in the SAME situation as you. he's controlling and only wants to use you to stay home while he goes out and has fun. have you asked him if he goes out? see what the answer is. there is no love if he's doing it but you cant. good luck

    • He doesn't go out and I know that.. he lives in england so he pretty much talks to me all day and when I wake up its night for him with the time difference and all.. that's why he makes me feel so guilty..