How can I convince my friend she's not being replaced?

A really good friend of mine is dating my best friend's ex. At the time they started dating, my best friend and I were in the middle of not talking because of some stuff. But then, her and I decided to work things out(this was about 5 months ago). Now, when I thought everything was OK, that hey, you can be good friends with both(my best friend doesn't care), I get hit with her feeling like our friendship is at the odds and she's pulling away afraid she's gonna get hurt. No matter how many times I try to explain I still love her like a sister and that I'm not replacing her, just expanding a world of friends, nothing works. I mean, I know it's her bf's ex, but at the same time, why can't one be close to both. My best friend and I have history, we've been through a lot together, this other girl and I are still building a history and one I'm not ready to give up, so there's this drama and feeling hurt because I feel like I'm losing people to an old grudge he can't let go of(after 2-3 years) and is feeding his thoughts to her.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Ok so I've been in a situation where one friend thinks your gonna leave her for another friend. This isn't exactly the most easy thing to happen between friends and the one whose worrie that your gonna leave her is Probably gonna be stubborn no matter what you tell her. Whether this be over text or in person the two of you need to have a serious conversation. You have to tell her to listen to what you have to say. Then you need to be completlet honest about how you feel and what's going on. Don't say things like I'm trying to find new friends even if that's the case. It's ook to have other friends andstuff. Let her know you'll always be her best friend/ almost sister and no matter hat there is nobody to replace er. But also let her know that you have other fiends too. It's gonna be an interesting conversation and if she yells at you or something don't yell back. Be calm and collected. You should if you get overly angry or stressed take a few minutes or days before you brig the subject up again. Or of she gets to upset don't try to force her to talk about it because maybe she needs to be left alone for a few days. If thy happens just text her or call her and say hey and don't mention the whole I feel like your leaving me conversation. I'm sorry of this is confusing and I hope this helps a little bit. Good luck(:

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    • So far, we've had this conversation twice and unfortunately she just wants this other friend to disappear and when I say it'll work out in the end, she just says "we'll see", almost as if she doesn't want to try. Wouldn't me trying so hard, prove to her that the way she sees things isn't right?

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    • I hope so, unfortunately I think my big problem is, it feels like she just wants to spout out excuses, instead of working on this, like I'm the only one who cares, even while she acts like it's me who doesn't care...

    • Yeaah. They generally think you don't care even when you do. Friend stuff like this sucks and he needs to understand your point of view and not only her own cause she is probably making a mistake by pushing others out..

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