I just ended a 7 years relationship. We've come to a dead end. Our relationship wasn't moving forward and things were not improving and I realized I had been settling for second best. All the while I was hoping he will change and improve. 7 years is a long time for a girl to wait on a guy. So tell me, will guys ever change even if this change is better for himself? For example, help out around the house, spend more time with your significant other, plan your future and save up together (at the cost of spending time with clients or on business matters)?
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It takes a lot of time and will for someone to change, and for myself, I had to do it for selfish reasons. I was so angry at the world; mostly because of this annoyed/depressed feeling I had 24/7. I did not once look at myself and think; maybe these feelings are coming from the way I chose to think. But instead I blamed the world. I took it out on everyone around me. If you screwed up, I made sure you knew about it, if you misspoke you would have me breathing down your throat.
All I wanted was to feel good, to feel at peace. I was one day fuming around an incident I had with a friend, when I realized that the emotions I was feeling was coming from within, and not from my friend and instantly felt better, as I started reading about anger management, and how to get along with people learning that you don’t always have to be right. Learning to let arguments go ( most arguments are pointless and only make both parties feel horrible afterward ), and reading quotes like “a man convinced against his will is still a man with the same opinion”, just keep hitting home for me.
Life is no longer a misery for me. I in fact have found a real love for talking to people, where previously I had run on the arrogant assumption that I was the most important person on the planet, so people should be talking to me. Just makes me laugh now that I think about it.
I’ve only ever really loved one woman. Our last year together, I’m sure I made her cry every day. I love her so much, and I would always think, I got to treat her better, but it never happened. Pride, selfishness, and anger combined, blinded me to my foolish behavior.