My friends vs. the guy I'm dating (Which side do I choose?)

I have been on and off with the same guy for about a year now. My three closest friends seemed really cool with him at first, but it turns out they were never cool at all with him (they just came out with this because they didn't want to hurt my feelings). This fact came out recently when we got back together again (the final reason we chose to stay apart was that the school I was taking some classes at was a completely different city). My friends, once I told them, were so mad about it (in simplest terms). They then went on to tell me that they disliked him because he was "manipulative", "obsessed" and completely "driven by his ego". I never really noticed anything like that about him but I didn't know my friends hated him so much. They didn't ask me to choose between him and them, but simply stated that "We don't wanna hang out with him". They didn't ask me to choose but I feel like they might as well have. I know the guy and I are most likely not going to last but I feel like I really disappointed my friends by going back to him. I know my friends really do care, and it takes a lot for them to hate someone so I know there must be something that I am missing. So, should I choose to end the relationship now? Or should I wait it out to see if my friends are right? I just feel so torn between the two.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's off an on, do you really think it's going to work out? If your friends are telling you he is manipulative and 'so far up his own ass' (driven by ego) he probably is a loser. I found it interesting how everyone seperated after high school. If you still hangout with them they must be good friends, you break up with your boyfriend off and on and those never work out. If you broke up you broke up for a reason, it's going to keep happening. Your friends are pretty cool about it, they said hey we don't wan't to hang out with him we don't like him we aren't saying break up with him but we don't want to hang out.

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What Guys Said 3

  • On one hand, you know your friends care and they don't usually hate someone. On the other hand though, YOU are the one who's been with the guy, you probably would have seen if he really is what they are accusing him of.

    Since you know it won't last, I don't see the point of wasting your time or his.

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  • Always choose your friend. Relationships come and go but true friends always have their friend's back. If you choose him and your relationship goes south then she will not be there to back your emotions and tell you how much of an idiot he was.

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  • If you don't expect to stay with him, I don't see why you shouldn't dump him now.

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What Girls Said 3

  • okay, lets go over this slowly:

    -three of the people who love you the most/know you the best HATE this guy.

    -you yourself have admitted you guys "are mostly likely not going to last"

    -and you're on again/off again anyway

    i almost forgot the question! let it go. clearly.

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  • you don't notice it cause you are in love and your head is in the clouds. plus its hard to notice manipulations when you are the one being manipulated. And I'm sure what they think is obsessing you think its him being sweet and overprotective. If I was you I thing long and hard of things he has done that might have been a little obsessive and manipulative, if you can't think of anything invite your friends over and talk about and they can tell you what they have seen and maybe you will see it as well. I rarely think you should choose a guy or girl over friends.

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  • While I think friends are really going to be the ones there in the end, if they're true friends they'll accept him, because they are your friends. But you shouldn't take advantage of that an bring him around 24/7. Unless he's physically hurting you or emotionally, (like constantly putting you down) then they shouldn't try to stop you. If he makes you happy then they should be happy for you.

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