Am I supposed to cook and clean when I'm at HIS house?

every time I'm at my boyfriends house, he tells me to tidy his room for him or wash up the dishes or make him something to eat.

when he's in my house, I do everything for him - but when I'm at his, I don't think the same rules should apply.

Whats your opinion...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're his girlfriend, not his maid or mother. You're at his house and therefore, he's the host. He should be the one cooking for you and cleaning his own mess. You should both help out at each others' houses if you do stuff for each other. For example, if he cooks for you, it's only fair you help with the dishes. But if his house is messy because of his own doing, then it's his responsibility to clean it. For example, if he has dirty clothes strewn across his room, that's his responsibility to clean up.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I agree. You don't have to clean up for him. If he gets demanding, you tell him to clean his own damned room. If he has a problem with that, then forget him. But you don't need to cook and clean for him. You shouldn't have to. You're not his maid. You're not paid for this stuff. He shouldn't be so demanding. You shouldn't have to put up with that. Remember that.

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  • If you don't feel like doing it then don't. Relationships turn bitter when people feel obliged to do things just because they are together. That is my mentality at least. I like a massage if you give me a massage from time to time it will make me happy, but I wouldn't force you, and if you find it too much to ask to give me a massage, then there is nothing wrong with it. Just shows you don't really care about me that much. I give my girlfriend massages all the time, I cook for her all the time, I even help her with her homework. Relationships work both ways. She cooks for me, and she helps me all the time. When she does, it makes me want to do more for her. If she didn't then I would feel less inclined to treat her so well.

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  • I think you should both help out when at each others' houses, but you shouldn't be doing all the work at his house.

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What Girls Said 5

  • He might not think of it as making you do things, but might just want to be pampered. Especially if he knows you're good at doing those kinds of things. But I do agree that there should be some equality. You should both take turns doing things for each other at both of your houses - to get used to it in case you ever live together.

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  • Well, my initial reaction to this was "no, you shouldn't be doing all that." Afterall, you two may be together, but you are a guest in his house, yous don't share it so therefore the same rules that occur in your house should not apply in his. However if you two are having a meal together, and you offer to cook that's okay, or if it is your turn to, just the same as washing up should be done by you both together.

    I understand that in some cultures this may be frowned upon but in my opinion a relationship is a two-way thing, the fact your boyfriend tells you to clean up HIS (sorry no italics option, lol) things in HIS house, causes me to wonder why you haven't said something to him, afterall you don't expect him to go up and tidy your room for you.

    All of the above is my own opinion, I don't know anything about your relationship other than what you've said, but I hope that it helps.

    S x

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  • Unless you are his cleaning person, who he has arranged to have clean his place, for which he PAYS you. No. You are not _supposed_ to clean his place. Why _do_ you? do it anyways? And why is he ordering you arondnd why are you dating someone who is disrespecting you?

    You can help, if you want. You certainly, are not obligated to clean, & if he's not helping you, id see it as exploitative. And the demanding/ giving/ taking orders, is just pathetic.

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  • Are you his maid?

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  • douche. lol. yeah that's the first thing that comes to mind when I read this. anyways. I would talk to him. I mean yeah when you are at his house you should probably clean up your own mess but not his and especially since he doesn't do the same for you. it seems completely one sided.

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