How do you tell a guy "we need to talk" without using that dreaded expression?

I've been hanging out with this guy for a little over a month now. We've been intimate but not had sex. He's a bit older than me and never had a long-term relationship. Lately he's been a little aloof and I'm not sure if it's because he's gun-shy/not sure of himself (his past two 'relationships' were open ones he didn't realize were open.) and what he wants or if it's me. We haven't spoken for a day or so and I want to clear the air and be open and honest with him about "what's going on" and if we like each other or if he's just not that into me, but I don't know the best way to go about it.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If he didn't realize the relationships where open he's probably not the best communicator, just a guess. I'd actually recommend not prefacing it with any sort of statement, just wait till you're in a good-natured or happy conversation and just ask it in a kind of off-hand or casual way. Just ask straight out or use a "I almost introduced you as a my boyfriend when we met my friend" type statement. He may get quiet or something, but if he gets that way you'll know he's not ready and willing. Just my 2 cents!

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    • I think you're on-point with the first part. I ended up just asking if he had any free time after work and saying I wanted to clear up some things. He ended up kind of freaking out. He kept asking what I was talking about. Kept texting me before I could reply to his last text. Said please, asked me if he did something wrong. Even "Please say something or I'll just avoid it expecting the worst." We ended up meeting and talking. He's got a tough shell, but at least I know he cares?

What Guys Said 2

  • just talk the next time you hangout when its a good time, as in by yourselves. then just say you need to talk about us.

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  • Umm you could slip it into a normal conversation so the transition would be easier to go into. That's my opinion though. I wish the best though.

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What Girls Said 1

  • It's best to just tell him that you would like to have a conversation with him to air out some things. It doesn't really matter what you say but if your tone is open, he will notice that you just want to talk about some things and he shouldn't get weird about that.

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