Let go of the girl I love? Or keep the friendship and deal with the pain?

So I fell in love with my best friend. She makes me so happy and smile like no one else. She's just so beautiful to me. The problem is we've already talked about it and she says she loves having me as a friend and that our friendship is different than others (in a good way) but doesn't want more than that. She actually feels really bad that she doesn't see me the same way and wishes she felt it too but says she's sorry and just doesn't. This puts me in a difficult place. Should I let go of the girl I love? Or keep the friendship and deal with the pain? Both options completely suck and I don't know what to do.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Do you really want her out of your life? It'll be hard at first. You could try telling her that you still wanna be friends and that close but that you need some time to get over her.

    I think it sucks even more not having your best friend in your life, even when you love her and it's not mutual. She'll understand you'll need time, that's normal!

    Just meet up a bit less often and try to act like the friends you used to be. If you feel it's not working out, tell her you need more time. If it is working and you feel you can handle it, great!

    Good luck with whatever choice you make! But don't cut someone that important out of your life just like that because you couldn't deal with how you feel about her.

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    • I don't want to cut her out of my life. I just care about her so much that it hurts knowing we are only friends. Don't get me wrong, I love having her as a best friend, but emotions are clouding my vision and it's really had to put that aside.

    • Then there really aren't many options right? You don't wanna cut her out of your life, you can't be lovers, .. So I'm afraid the best thing to do is to try to get over her. Try not to hang out as often, tell her why, she'll understand. Let her know you don't want to cut her out and you still wanna be friends but that you need some time to get over her.

What Girls Said 4

  • Honestly, I'd still try to be friends. You don't know if you'll find someone that great again, whether it be a friend or girlfriend. There's always a chance that one of you could change your mind. In the meantime, try to get to know other girls, but keep her friendship. Just treasure what you do have and be happy that she still wants to be in your life and still wants to be in yours. Be happy that she was at least nice about not feeling that way about you. Things could have gone worse. The fact that she was sweet and kind about it and didn't run away would make me want to at least try to hold on to her if I were in your shoes. But it's up to you. Just remember, if you cut her out completely, you might not get her back, and might regret that more.

    This is a tough one, and I'm sorry you have to go through this. But only you can decide what's best for you. One particular option might not work for everyone.

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  • Let go.

    Trust me.

    I've been there done that, and the pain eventually manifests itself and slowly beings to eat away at you. Even though you love that person and you want to see them happy, its painful. And there is no reason why you should be stuck in that painful place. Remember, you are are most important person. You're happiness trumps everyone elses. If you let her go, yeah its gonna hurt, but I can promise you not even close to as long or as painful as its gonna hurt if you keep her around.

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  • would you be able move on and date other people if you were still friends with her? Can you be friends without having feelings for her one day?

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    • I want to say yes, but honestly I'm not sure. When I'm not with her I miss her so much it hurts. But when I'm with her it hurts to look at her and know I'll never actually be 'with her'..

    • Awwww :-( ya I know the exact feeling...does she still really want to be your friend? And if you stop talking to her will you miss her less eventually?

    • Yes, she still does really want to be my friend. When we talked about it she told me that she really likes my personality and loves having me for a best friend, but she just isn't feeling anything more. I understand completely, its just so hard to hold back my affection for her.

  • If you feel that strongly bout her if I was in your situation I would move on an forget the friendship tbh I know it sucks but that's what I would do.

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What Guys Said 6

  • umm.. you can't make someone to love you by your will , you know .

    don't hurt her feelings by breaking contact with her but don't expect that she will be your girlfriend either. find some other girls bro,who loves you for who you're .

    there are plenty of fishes in the water or give her the reasons to like you more than friends.

    hit the gym or play some sports , excel in your studies (I know it's creepy lol but girls love clever guys). good luck :)

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  • Then tell her you can't be with her as a FRIEND. Because its not going to work out. Dont' talk to her no matter what. cut off contact for about 8-10 months. Then you can start out 'fresh'. This has a small chance of working. Better than nothing. She'll miss you like crazy. No matter what she says don't reply.

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  • Let go.

    I've had experienced the same situation and I've waited(or wasted) 7 years for the girl I loved who was my best friend. I can't describe the pain I had and now I sometimes swear at myself for being such an idiot for letting myself being hurt so badly in a constant way.

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  • let go man. life's too short not to be happy. it may be hard as hell at first but I promise you it'll be worth it.

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  • Stay as friends and keep her knowing your feelings towards her.

    If you let go of her...it's going to be a month or more of extreme depression. And the aftereffects of thinking about her everyday.

    Carpe diem.

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  • i'm in the exact same position as you, and for me personally I would rather have them in my life a s a friend than not at all, good luck hope you make the right decision for you

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