I've never had a girlfriend but I know I could have had one a long time ago if I was not so picky

I feel like settling, lowering my standards, but I'm having a very hard time doing so, I'm just attracted to girls either out of my league, or I have to be physically attracted to a girl in order for me to see her as girlfriend material, dating/relationship material, obviously looks are not the only-thing that matters, there has to be a physical attraction and both a personality attraction too, but I'm not overweight, I'm not that fat, I weigh like 190lbs and I'm 5'7-5'8, around there, I consider myself average looking, but I just wish I can be attracted to girls in my own range of attractiveness, why can't I lower my standards? it's like my mind is telling me not to.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just keep trying. Its like fishing. you don't fish for the biggest you just throw a net in and drag them all up. and either you like them and they turn out alright, or they don't. In which case, 7billion people on the planet, you'll find someone. Just have to keep trying,and trying. don't take it personal, keep moving. Talking, asking them questions ,not real long, but enough to get a name and #. try to get 3-5 numbers a day see if it is really theirs, call them before you leave. Put them on the spot. then walk away if it isn't their number. it's just knowing who you're talking to, if they play a stupid game, or if they are legit people who don't play mind games like "hard to get". If you need confidence help, work out, it helps release endorphines you'll feel great, and eventually-if you stick to a plan- you'll be a bit more toned as well. In the end you'll pick a girl up without to many issues as long as you can get better with conversing and try wearing something nice :) not that you don't now but since I can't see your pic or know your style of dress, I'm just going off basics. Some guys don't have the basics. Some people I know don't brush their teeth every day at least 1-2 times, some of them do it once a week!

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    • how do you avoid being creepy, avoid trying too hard?

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    • its not to 'attract' a girl, its just to have some self respect. Like don't let people use you. Like there's nothing wrong helping out here and there but don't always be there for someone. Be reliable, but not predictable and to the point of always being there for fear of having your head cut off.

      Get what I'm saying? AS far as the attraction goes, you meet people with similar interests. Just know you won't find a lady in a bar or party. Maybe a one night stand if they're drunk enough.Risky tho

    • If you want to attract someone, you have to make them feel good, how do you do that? You make them laugh, tease them *(not in a rude way)* just a playful way. Keep yourself busy do things, stay active. I mean you don't have to be full blown taking all your time up but, you know, have some fun share some stories. Make yourself interesting, dress nicely, smell nice, take care of the basics.

What Girls Said 5

  • If it's so hard to lower your standards and you aim for what you believe is too high for you, then better yourself! It's like a person working at a fast food burger place wining minimum wage and dreams of driving a Ferrari. This person has has to work harder to achieve this dream. So... Stop being average if average is not what you want. For starters consider being more open, be outspoken, exercise, achieve an awesome body, get a tan, make sure you have nice teeth, and be confident and happy about what you do. Lastly, stop considering yourself as average, and refer to yourself as the best there is out there. If you work hard for it, there is no reason why you shouldn't deserve it, much less lower your standards.

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    • never thought of it that way

  • There's no reason to "lower your standards!" Talk to people (notice I didn't say girls. talk to everyone). Make a lot of friends. I know it's hard but be confident. You don't seem so confident in yourself. I feel like shy guys have something to hide. Take some pride in whatever you do. Maybe someone isn't interested at first but you can show them how it's really interesting.

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  • Don't lower your standards! you deserve the best and shouldn't have to settle just because you can't find the right girl. She'll come along you just have to be patient. Join clubs, meet neighbors, go to some of your favorite places. Get to know people cause most don't make a good first impression and you might get the wrong idea.

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  • I have the same probme buddy. But sometimes when you really love someone's personality it can make the appear more physically attractive.

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    • well your younger than me at least

  • first talk to women. a lot of times a good personality can make someone more attractive. but if your just the creeper in the back judging all the girls and not talking to any of them... well would you want to date someone like that? start slow b4 even thinking of relationships too. your thinking way too much into it

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    • talk to women how specifically?

What Guys Said 4

  • My aunt is 40 and has never had a boyfriend just because she was so picky.

    Prince[ss] charming does not come out very often.

    I suggest you at least get to know a person (as a friend) before second guessing and judging so quickly.

    Think of someone as not a dating potential, but a friend and you might before interested. If not, you could always join her friend circle and keep searching.

    Dating or not. Get to know them first.

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    • really? she is a virgin too?

  • the male libido is a curse I admit

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  • i hate how women do not need as much qualifications as men do

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  • why do I get the feeling I should have settled a long time ago too?

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