Do on again off again relationships ever last?

Do they last and eventually commit or do the fizzle out and eventually die?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Great question, I'm in an on/off relationship the last 6 years every year we break up around the time of our anniversary usually he starts being an ass commitment issues and I break up with him then 2 to 3 weeks later he comes back and I except him back hope things will change but then it happens again :(, at the moment I am trying to break the cycle and it's really hard as I love him but know this time next year it'll be the same problems! I'm such a fool allowing myself to hurt over and over again.

    I'd like to believe they could work but I really doubt it

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What Guys Said 10

  • If they are 'off' only because of distance or job changes, etc., then they aren't really 'off.' But if they are always seeing other people and fighting over that, or over their personal problems, then chances are overwhelming they'll never be really 'on.'

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  • It's different for everyone. But in my honest opinion, there is no such thing as an "open relationship" because they shouldn't even be called that, because they're not relationships at all. They're basically just friends with benefits. You can't truly love someone if you're in an "open relationship". But that's probably getting off topic. So, yes and no. It depends on the girl and the guy and it depends on their lifestyle and it depends on so many factors that unfortunately, like anthony87 said, there is no answer.

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  • It really depends on the couple involved in the relationship, most don't last. But enough of them do, that females use them as an examples to stay in a bad relationship.

    The same as most long distance relationships don't survive, but even when one long distance relationship out of a 100 make it. Everyone thinks their relationship with be the one and not part of the 99 that did not make it.

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  • Well... eventually people fizzle out and die, so I guess that means that all relationships eventually fizzle out and die too ;)

    But to answer seriously, I'm sure there is an example somewhere at some time where two people that followed this pattern made it work and were happier for it. I don't think it happens often though.

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  • Done... so done. They do not last you may really like each othe rbut the problems and issues that keep making it go off again will continue to ruin it.

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  • Not impossible, just don't expect to win the lottery so to speak. The more on and off it is, the more detached people become,so I've noticed. I would just end it with the last time as I personally need to be sure of the other person and that I could trust them. with the on and off I couldn't be trusting of them.

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  • No they don't last

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  • Generally not.

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  • your looking for a generalization for your individual situation... the answer is that there is no answer, its gonna vary always

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  • Mostly they don't.

    I can't put all of those relationships in a one basket, but if there was no consistency before - why would it be in the future? What makes things different?

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What Girls Said 12

  • I have yet to ever see where those on or off again relationships last...even when they do, both parties are miserable.

    The problem is, the reasons for the break up or make ups are always superficial. There's always a deeper reason or problem underneath it all and people hardly ever sit down to really figure it out, so yah...the chances of those kinds of relationships making it are slim to none.

    Doesn't mean you'll stop loving the person...just that you aren't compatible as a long term couple.

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  • I always felt like they did. How many of us have that friend who is dating this girl or guy who are like ronnie and sammie from jersey shore. All they do is break up and fight but you never see them with anyone else and if so its for a very short time. I don't know if these relationships last but they always seems to last for a long time like 3-5 years. I feel like its because even though they fight they become familiar. They are comfortable to share the ugly side of themselves that they can't with someone else but at the same time the good parts become rare when they become so used to the drama and pain they forget how to just be calm because they've learned nothing each time they break up.

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  • It really depends. I was on again off again with my boyfriend for the first year of our relationship. Now we're completely on all the time though.

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  • My relationship was on and off and messy. This was over a year ago. Now, we reconnected. And we seem to be doing well and want to avoid the drama that caused the off parts. It's pretty surreal. We know each other and are comfortable after all this time.

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    • We're not giving it a label yet. Taking things slow, not knowing where we'll go. No matter what happens, we care and want good for each other. That's love. Even with messed up history, maybe its a learning experience. People change and grow. And we had great moments. Looking forward to more to come. It can all go downhill. But we don't want it too. We've got control. We'll see.

  • They die out. My sister was in a relationship that was one again and off again several times because every time they fought, they would break up. Then her ex, would beg for her forgiveness and she would go back to him. This has happened several times.

    Now they are just friends. Yet he still wants to get back together with her. *face palm* It's a never ending cycle with those two.

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  • No.

    Sadly.

    You just start to fall into the habit of constant drama and the make up sex and the rush, it always is on again off again. And sooner or later one person is going to get sick of it.

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  • I think it depends on the couple and how hard they try to work on what makes them so on and off again. Because without work you're just basically running around in the same circle to me.

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  • i think its rare but it happens. my friends sister was on.off with her boyfriend for like 5 years and they just got married 2 months ago

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  • no they don't last. if you are on and off while dating its not going to work when you get married.

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  • I would say it depends on 'the reason' why it's on and off again.

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  • Every one is different, but here's my experience. Dated high school boyfriend on and off for 6 years. When we finally decided not to ever get back together again, he says, it's better that way because he'll only take me for granted again and do things that hurt my feelings. Says he doesn't do it on purpose, it just turns out that way. Lesson: when you get back together deal with the reason you broke up in the first place to avoid history repeating itself. Otherwise, it will!

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  • yeah, I think those sorts of relationships are pretty doomed. if you've been dating on and off then I definitely wouldn't recommend marriage. whether it's 6 months or 6 years later, it's going to go wrong. marriage isn't a fix for bad relationship. in my opinion, it's wiser to get out of that sort of relationship the first or second time it goes wrong in order to minimize the heartache and just move on.

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