Friend getting mad because I don't hang out with her all the time?

I work full-time, so does she, but she just started her job. Her and her boyfriend are looking to move in. She lives 30 min away from me, I used to live in the same city as her but had to move to be closer to my job. I had an hour commute and now it's only 20 mins.

I work from 8am til 4pm. I come home and I have stuff to do around the house, cooking, laundry, etc...

She always wants me to hang out with her. I don't mind, I try to see her once every couple of weeks, since I am busy. I live far away from all my friends and it's hard because I'm the only one who drives :/

Anyway I saw her last weekend. And this weekend I spent the whole weekend with my boyfriend. I don't get to see him much, only on the weekend, and during the week we barely get to talk to each other. We both work and he lives 30 min away from each other. He's in the military and was away for 5 weeks, so during that time we didn't see much of each other.

When I come home from work I am tired. And all I want to do is relax. So I don't like going out during the week. She always wants me to go out during the week, but she doesn't understand that I have to drive myself home, and if I hang out with her that means me driving home tired, which I don't like to do!

Well today she posted a status on Facebook that I think is about me. She thinks I don't respect her feelings. I didn't plan to spend all weekend with my boyfriend, it just happened. It's rare and it was nice to get to see him. This weekend was the most I have seen him in a few months. I helped my boyfriend clean the rental house his parents own, and then his siblings invited me to dinner with them today. So I spent most of the time with his family.

Am I being selfish or is my friend making a bigger deal out of this than it really is? :S

I feel bad because she is upset, but I don't think I was crossing the line. I was nice and I do try to see her as much as possible. I just can't hang out with her everyday since I have other obligations. I have a hard time balancing social life/me time/ and work.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think she has the right to maybe feel upset because its understandable but I don't think she should be guilt tripping you or anything or acting up about it. Its not something you can really control you're busy and you have to split up your time you spend with her and your boyfriend.

    If that was directed towards you she needs to understand and be respectful just as much as she expects it. I would openly talk to her about it and ask her to understand what's going on and how you feel then ask her what she wants exactly for you to do and how she feels. If a compromise can't be met and she is still taking it personally I think she needs to grow up... I don't want to come across as mean but I'm just saying.. we all have lives and we can't stop them for someone, friend or family or whatever.. its just not realistic.

    She should be grateful for the time you do have and if she has so much spare time and wants to hang out with you why doesn't she come over to your house when you want to relax and just have a chill day with you...

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    • Thanks for your answer! I agree, it's tough being the only person expected to come see someone. All my friends are like this, driving takes a lot of my time and no one seems to understand how hard it is. Not only does it take up time it also takes up money.

    • I have friends like that too, they are always willing to do stuff when I'll come see them or pick them up but won't reciprocate. I only do it so much until I say something and if they don't pick it up on their end well sadly they weren't such great friends and I don't miss them because they chose to not come around. Its selfish and immature of them.

    • Thank you for BA

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