Why do guys chase my best friend & never even approach me?

So...anytime my best friend & I go anywhere guys flock around. Her& follow her around all night long but I don't even get a second glance. She's always the girl getting super drunk when we go to parties. I usually can't mingle as much as I'd like because I'm too busy following her around making sure nothing bad happens, which I shouldn't but I can't help it. I do still manage to have a good time though. Could it be that she comes off as more fun than me although I am super friendly & down to earth? She's also extremely skinny & blond whereas I. Would be considered average build, not super skinny like her but not chubby & brunette. So could it be looks? It doesn't usually bother me but lately it has, for some reason. it not just when were together neither guys don't approach me anywhere but she gets approached almost everywhere she goes.

Updates:
I don't really consider myself ugly, I don't have low self esteem or anything like that but I guess people do find her more attractive...maybe, Idk. But, you all are right I shouldn't babysit her. But, it doesn't only happen when we drink...it's just in general. I don't get it..

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It has allot to do with her looks but from what it sounds like she also puts off "I am a slut" vibe which attracts men, normally the ones just looking for a good time. You may actually be attractive but when you are around her you will fade into the background because you are the responsible one, the side kick who lives in the shadows. Men may not approach you when you are alone because you don't seem as loose as your friend does, that is not a bad thing, it means you will attract quality men versus a**holes. I grew up much the same way, my best friend is what all women find attractive, good looks, tall, good build and was very funny to boot. I was good looking but I am smaller and was always the responsible one making sure he didn't get into trouble. I never understood why women couldn't see that I was the better choice but the reality is, people are shallow and don't care about who you are, just what you look like and how you would be in the sack. I hope this helps, just know that your choices in men will always be better than hers because men will never truly respect her but they will you.

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What Guys Said 6

  • I know the feeling bro. I consider myself to be of above average attractiveness at 5'10" but I hang out with attractive guys who are all 6'5" and up. Dating is a market and people are shallow so hanging out with your ultra hot friend is going to continue to make you feel like that. Get uglier friends for when you want to pick someone up. Or if you are talking to a group of guys you can call dibs subtly. Or you could approach guys yourself.

    IDK it sucks being the uglier one of the group but you can make it work.

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  • To me, it seems like her drinking alot.

    Especially based on the fact that she's so "loose and sloppy" that you feel the need to protect her.

    Two things happen here:

    1) guys see your friend as the fun, shameless girl that's the easiest target to lay

    2) you are seen as the fun-stopping, c*ck-blocking prude that's keeping her from having fun

    So when you're out at parties / bars / clubs, think about it.

    ---------------

    There is a girl, that is taking shots, talking to guys, dancing with guys, being loose and free and having fun.

    Behind her is this girl that seems to be there only to police and interfere the fun of the girl that is trying to have fun and be loose and free.

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    Frankly, guys don't want you because you seem like a prude at parties / clubs / bars, and your friend is the sociable loose free one That is the perception you get when you focus your time on following your friend to "keep her out of trouble".

    I can't think of a guy, at a party / bar / nightclub that would GENUINELY goes for the prude of the party...especially when the other girl she's with is A LOT more fun.

    ----------------

    Let your friend have some space to act stupid, cauz frankly you obsessing over her actions ruins YOUR chances to meet guys.

    NO guy wants the prude of the party (cauz that's how you are perceived, not how you really are).

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    • This is it exactly. I get that you are being a good friend to your girlfriend, but she's not being a good friend to you by making you police her all the time. You need to be your own person, and be judged on your own, and not in contrast to her, because the situation she creates will make you lose every time.

  • She may look very easy, if she's drunk she's talking to everyone a lot and is of course easy to talk to /easy target. I don't know what either of you look like but guys go up to girls more often when they aren't as intimidating or are dressed up etc.

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  • trust me you don't want to be with the guys who are chasing her. a good guy will eventually come a long and he will know you are the better girl.

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  • I assume the areas where they approach her more are times when she looks like a more easier lay.

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  • She drinks a lot more than you, making her an easier target, plus it sounds like she doesn't watch out for your back so you can enjoy yourself. Sounds like a one-sided frienship where you get no action and she steals it all?

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What Girls Said 1

  • She's a super drunk girl at a party. There's your answer.

    Would you even want that kind of attention? You should talk to her about her behavior and let her know you are not trying to be her babysitter and you're gonna enjoy yourself.

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