I'm a girl who's been friend zoned. Or ain't I? Confused.

Hey,

I wonder if you guys could give me advise?

So I've been friends with this guy for 4 years now. Really good friends, but it was being pen-pals. We met up first time this year in April and I felt immediate attraction. We had a great time and were physically and personally comfortable with each other from the start and had a great time.

Next time I met him was two months later (we both live in different countries) when he visited me and I randomly, just to see what it felt like, kissed him one night when we were out. He kissed me back. At night, at my place, he talked to me about what this kiss had meant (personally I just wanted to do it, without any thoughts attached...) and said nothing could mess our friendship up, especially as he doesn't believe in long-distance-relationships. Which I respect and told him. Also, I didn't think doing stuff would mess our friendship up. So we had sex that night. And the night after. Which was amazing.

I've visited him again couple of days ago for a few days and now it just gets awkward. He told me numerous times how much he loves that he can have so intelligent conversation with me cause he hardly ever gets that and how much he loves our way of interacting that way. I also know he finds me very attractive, cause he said that a few times.

This time though, it felt like he was desperately trying to make me feel like "one of the chums". Constantly talking about sexy girls and trying to convince me to flirt with boys when we were out or telling me which girls he found attractive. Which was just plain awkward and my reaction showed that I found this just awkward. He still kept going on and on and made me feel like he really desperately wants me to realize I am friend zoned.

I would say nothing at all, if it wasn't for him right now trying to learn my language cause he wants to move to the city I live in (he fell in love with the city and wants to come live here for a year sometime soon). This would negate his original reason of not wanting anything to happen cause of Long Distance. So why this desperate friend zoning?

We also slept together again when I was over.

I am not clingy or overly attached or touchy-feely by the way, so he couldn't have been annoyed or felt molested.

So I don't get it. He thinks I'm brilliantly smart, cool, attractive as hell and we've known each other so long and well now like hardly anyone else. And still this?

I don't get it. Do you? Any comments and insights will be highly welcome.


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What Guys Said 2

  • I THINK HE LIKES YOU BUT DOESN'T WAN'T TO COME OFF AS CLINGY. ALSO, I BELIEVE HE DOESN'T WANT TO GET HURT JUST IN CASE YOU DON'T FELL FOR HIM AS MORE THAN A CLOSE FRIEND. YOU TWO SHOULD HAVE A LONG TALK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND WHERE IT'S GOING.

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    • But why would he give out the impression of not wanting a relationship and being interested in other girls if he liked me? But you're right, I SHOULD just talk to him.

  • You should talk to him, maybe his behavior is just to get you jealous.

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    • Turns out he is not interested at all and never was. Lame.

What Girls Said 0

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