Would you ever reconsider dating someone in your close knit group of friends, even if you had a relationship with them before, because you were worried about things not working out, and tweaking with the group dynamics?
Back story: Was seeing a girl whose a close friend for a few months things were great, but didn't work out (long story). But neither of us wanted to end things, and even though we did things turned weird between us, some nights we'd stay in when our friends were all meeting up at bars and such, and we didn't really talk. Now we're both single again, and I spoke with her while out one night and she said she was jealous seeing me with other girls, and I told her I was jealous seeing her with other guys, I said well, we're both single now - do you want to go out sometime and take things slow and see what happens? She said yes. We both had busy schedules with planned vacations and work and said we'd plan on a night when we saw each other out next, so we talked that night and she said "you know I want to go out with you" when I asked her again. But called me the next day after we didn't finish the conversation cause something came up and I had to leave unexpectedly, and she said she didn't know if it was such a good idea because it effects more than just us, because our friends are involved. I said she was thinking too much into it. Said it was just a harmless date, we'd have fun together cause we always did and she should stop worrying. She said she knows we'd have fun cause she likes spending time with me, regretted things ending last time, but just wasn't ready for it right now cause we just started recently talking again and building a relationship and she doesn't want to ruin it. I told her I missed her and I wanted to spend time with her and just have a good night out with her and enjoy her company.
She said she wanted to but didn't think it was smart right now because she's worried if things didn't work out things would be weird between us and ultimately the dynamics of the group again. I told her she's thinking too much, and I always thought of her as more than a friend, she said she just didn't think it was a good idea right now, but still wants to hangout and talk. So my question is - is there a way I can prove to her it wouldn't be weird, it would work out, and she should give it a try? We have unreal chemistry together, and get along great. I know she's just thinking for the bad and if things didn't work she doesn't want our friends to be mad at us again. I need to assure her that wouldn't happen and need her to take the chance. I asked why she said yes and then changed her mind also, and she said - "when I see you in person I can't say no to you, and I thought about it and really wanted to, like really wanted to go out with you. But after thinking about it, the logical part of me is saying it isn't a good idea right now." I asked if it would be later and she said she thinks so but can't be sure. I told her I wasn't giving up.
Most Helpful Girl
She sounds confused about what she wants. She obviously cares for you, as a friend if nothing more, because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. I would let it be for now. Just try to be a really good friend for her right now. Don't push her though or you could lose her forever. May e this new thing with the new guy won't work out just give it time.0
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