Would you ever be scared of dating someone in your close group of friends even if you had a relationship before

Would you ever reconsider dating someone in your close knit group of friends, even if you had a relationship with them before, because you were worried about things not working out, and tweaking with the group dynamics?

Back story: Was seeing a girl whose a close friend for a few months things were great, but didn't work out (long story). But neither of us wanted to end things, and even though we did things turned weird between us, some nights we'd stay in when our friends were all meeting up at bars and such, and we didn't really talk. Now we're both single again, and I spoke with her while out one night and she said she was jealous seeing me with other girls, and I told her I was jealous seeing her with other guys, I said well, we're both single now - do you want to go out sometime and take things slow and see what happens? She said yes. We both had busy schedules with planned vacations and work and said we'd plan on a night when we saw each other out next, so we talked that night and she said "you know I want to go out with you" when I asked her again. But called me the next day after we didn't finish the conversation cause something came up and I had to leave unexpectedly, and she said she didn't know if it was such a good idea because it effects more than just us, because our friends are involved. I said she was thinking too much into it. Said it was just a harmless date, we'd have fun together cause we always did and she should stop worrying. She said she knows we'd have fun cause she likes spending time with me, regretted things ending last time, but just wasn't ready for it right now cause we just started recently talking again and building a relationship and she doesn't want to ruin it. I told her I missed her and I wanted to spend time with her and just have a good night out with her and enjoy her company.

She said she wanted to but didn't think it was smart right now because she's worried if things didn't work out things would be weird between us and ultimately the dynamics of the group again. I told her she's thinking too much, and I always thought of her as more than a friend, she said she just didn't think it was a good idea right now, but still wants to hangout and talk. So my question is - is there a way I can prove to her it wouldn't be weird, it would work out, and she should give it a try? We have unreal chemistry together, and get along great. I know she's just thinking for the bad and if things didn't work she doesn't want our friends to be mad at us again. I need to assure her that wouldn't happen and need her to take the chance. I asked why she said yes and then changed her mind also, and she said - "when I see you in person I can't say no to you, and I thought about it and really wanted to, like really wanted to go out with you. But after thinking about it, the logical part of me is saying it isn't a good idea right now." I asked if it would be later and she said she thinks so but can't be sure. I told her I wasn't giving up.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • She sounds confused about what she wants. She obviously cares for you, as a friend if nothing more, because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. I would let it be for now. Just try to be a really good friend for her right now. Don't push her though or you could lose her forever. May e this new thing with the new guy won't work out just give it time.

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    • She's not seeing anyone right now, they broke up. She told me while out when she came up to me and said "we should have a heart to heart" .. told me she was jealous seeing me with other girls and things progressed I asked how things were with the other guy and she said they split. I asked if she wanted to go out and she said yes that sounds great. she'd text me everyday on vacation and even called asking if I was going, cause my friends made plans to be in the same area, but our plans fell thru.

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    • I would just be friends right now. It is possible the last break up really did her in and that she is gun shy. Let her come to you and see how things go from there. I know it is a pain trying to wait for something like this but this needs to be slow. This is definitely not something to rush into. She might be interested but its too soon to jump to conclusions. Just take it slow and roll with it. Don't push her but don't put yourself in a situation that would bother you. If deep down you know you

    • Can't just be friends with her hen you need to consider that as well. But you really need to focus on what you want this week and figure out what you want. Maybe she wants a relationship? Maybe she wants to just be friends? Maybe she just wants you to be a wing man? You don't know yet. She's confused and she doesn't know what she wants it sounds like. Honestly I think she is gun shy. Just give it time. Let her contact you.

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