How do YOU find dates?

I feel spastic asking this question. I'm actually a very attractive 45 y.o. female who looks about 30 and keeps her figure in great shape. And yet good luck getting dates! If I put my real age on a dating profile most guys overlook me, then if I put 40 I have to explain at some point that I'm not 40. In person, I'm hot. But I don't take good photos. But more than being good looking, I'm sweet, loyal, faithful and nice. Because of pride, I will only put body shots on my dating profile. NOT my face. The reason is because my ex boyfriend (and I as well) used to be looking for one another on dating sites (juvenile, I know, but he was a major liar, hence the reason we're not together anymore). Though he was a cheater and an abuser, he was alone about a WEEK after we broke up. He called a girl from his little black book and has been dating her ever since while I've been alone (don't you love how the a*holes get the better end of the deal? Why is this?) I know he'll be laughing his butt off if he sees me on one of these dating sites. AND YES, I know you are all going to say who gives a "s". But I just don't want him seeing me on a dating site. But I think even if I do put "all" of me in a profile I will STILL have trouble. I like younger guys because I find they are (mostly) still in shape. As an ex-personal trainer, that is what I like. I have no problem looking at older guys IF they kept in shape and had some hair. But you put my real age on a profile and I get "filtered" out because they want younger.

Any advice/thoughts about what sites are worth it, how to handle the profile, or any other way to meet men would be appreciated.

Thank you.


Most Helpful Guy

  • So I would be filtered out by you, not because I am older but not in perfect shape? (yes, I have hair.) I get most of my responses from 25-35, online/in person (no, only half want sugar daddy, which I am not, so those leave quickly). Rarely anyone your age or older...don't know what to tell you (and no, I do not hit on younger women, under 40).

    Good luck :)

    • Lol, not sure what you're saying but OK. They should have a fitness filter tho. They all seem to have is an age filter. And I wouldn't rule you out because you're out of shape. I'd rule you out because I like people who exercise (often). Its what I do. I work out 5/6 days a week, including weights, rock climbing, hiking and I teach Jiu Jitsui. So someone who is not active like that, who could not keep up, would not be a compatible person.

    • Show All
    • I guess you could look at it that way. I wouldn't be doing it to be a shallow jerk however. It'd be because I need an active person. People who won't even look at me because of my age (especially men - who I KNOW do this) are shallow jerks. Oh, we're 45 just like she is but we deserve a 30 y.o. Get real! Men who are my SAME age think *I'm* too old. That's what gets to me. I can outrun, outsexy, outdo (period) most females half my age! Sorry, it just gets to me sometimes. I appreciate your reply.


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What Guys Said 3

  • The hell is a date?

  • I'm sure your a very pretty woman. Don't try to force it you'll meet the right man. You should add me as a friend.

  • By going out, talking.


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