Why do some girls, want (or say they want) to befriend the guy that she rejects after being asked out by him?

This is something that, at my age, I still don't completely get.

Asking questions like this is what the site is for! :-D

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1) Guy asks out girl (they weren't "friends" beforehand).

2) Girls rejects him (an in she says ANYTHING but "yes").

3) Girls says that she just wants to be friends

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Question is, guys and girls...why does the girl do step 3?

Does she GENUINELY want his friendship...

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...or is she "letting him down easy" and the dialogue in step 3 is a hollow statement?

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I know that "it depends on each girl in each situation" (people are complex), but in terms of you girls, as well as any girls that you know...what is the usual reason for this statement?

Guys and girls, vote and reply in your answer, with as much input and scenarios as you like so we can understand your perspective.

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Thanks for answering, and feel free to name the pokemon on my avatar! 8-)

  • The girl usually truly want the rejected guy's friendship when she offers it
    43% (18)17% (2)37% (20)Vote
  • The girl usually SAYS she wants to be freinds to be nice, but don't mean it
    57% (24)83% (10)63% (34)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • she probably just wants more guy friends, maybe she is interested in someone else

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What Girls Said 12

  • I know the immediate reaction is to say that she wants to keep him around for attention, but I don't think that's it. If you're a nice person, I want to be your friend. I like nice people. We can have fun; we just don't have a connection. But if you like me enough to date me, you must like me enough to be my friend, and if I'm saying that I want to be friends, then I like you enough to be your friend - so why not be friends? Not everything has to be about sex. I am capable of having friendships too.

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    • Completely agree with every word you said and I know plenty girls who will agree with this too

  • Whenever I say that, I mean it. If the guy likes me enough to want to date me and be in a relationship with me, then clearly he sees that we have some things in common.

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  • That can really depend, If I know I'm really not interested in a guy I'm not the type to lead him on or keep him as a friend just to be nice.

    If it's a guy I think is cool, and would like to hangout with then yes, I would say "Let's be friends".

    If I like the guy and I am interested in going out with him but I don't know anything about him at all I would say let's be friends but not platonic friendship. Not a dating thing but not a friends thing either. Just a little getting to know him. Just until I know he's approachable for sure.. Just being cautious. Lol.

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  • I never try to be friends with a guy I rejected. Mostly cause I figure he'll be bitter and not want to be friends. Which is mostly the case.

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  • If I say I wanna be friends, then I mean it.

    But I've only ever turned down a guy who was already a really good friend(kinda hurt the friendship...Hoping to rebuild it though...especially since I'm with his brother now- he's one of 13 kids- and he could end up my brother-in-law someday ^_^ ).

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  • I voted B. If they were not friends prior then it's just a nice gesture and a way to let him know that if they happen to run into each other, there's no need to act weird.

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  • If she rejected you and offered friendship instead. She truly wants you... As one of her girlfriends. She sees you no differently.

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  • i usually do that because I feel really guilty over having rejected the guy

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  • Sometimes its just to be nice other times its because she would just prefer a friendship. It really depends on the situation.

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  • It usually means, "We can say hi to each other when we see each other and talk sometimes or do something occasionally if we both like the same stuff...Hey! I might have a girl friend who would be your type -- maybe I should introduce you." not "Let's hang out every day and go places together." Be wary of the girl who has 3-4 male friends and not female friends, then she is likely just collecting attention.

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  • She just wants him for a friend, not a date.

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  • she could just like the attention but not want to date him

    or maybe she thinks it is a nice letdown

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What Guys Said 2

  • I would initially have thought B, but after reading the comments and looking at the poll I guess A makes sense too.

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  • She may want him as a friend, but more often than not ( a lot more actually ), there's nothing in it for the guy. Best just to cut your losses and move on.

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    • I concur with you. I either want her romantically, or not at all.

      Like me and a buddy usually say to each other; "I have enough friends. What I don't have is a girlfriend."

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