Is he really just not ready for a relationship or just not into ME?

I met this guy online. He's 28. In his profile he says he's been single for 2 years by choice, but that he's absolutely relationship ready now. We talked by text and phone (once) for almost 3 weeks and he finally asked to meet me. I went to his house and he was going to cook dinner (that didn't happen because I wasn't hungry recovering from being sick). We ended up just playing a game, listening to music, talking, looking through old pics from when he was a kid, going outside to look at the telescope, and he kissed me. He had told me in the beginning of the night he wanted me to stay so he could make me breakfast in the morning (he's a chef), and he told me he hasn't offered that to anyone in 2 years. He did want to have sex, but I turned him down, although we did hook up a little bit. He still wanted me to stay after that so he could make breakfast, but I had to go home for work the next morning. He told me that he wanted to see me again. Throughout the night several times he told me he was so happy to finally have met me, and he said some very sweet things. He also told me he hadn't kissed anyone in 6 months, and he randomly mentioned that he isn't talking to anyone or hasn't met anyone else from the dating site (I didn't ask, he brought it up), though I see him on there all the time (every day). He told me that he had been single for 2 years because he had a really bad break up 2 years ago and went through a period where he manipulated girls and treated them badly. He said that lasted about a year and he felt really bad about it because it just wasn't him. Anyway, things seemed to go GREAT that night. Then after that, he would still text me every day, but they were super casual and started dying off. He initiated the texts every day though. He never asked to see me again and never called. Finally, I quit texting and so did he. A few days later, I texted him and told him I wish he had just told me he wasn't in to me, I would have just said OK and moved on... I deserve more respect than the "fade out" approach... I may have given him the wrong impression about what type of girl I am because we hooked up, but I'm not that girl, etc. I was doing that for my own closure. Well he responded saying it wasn't that (that he's not into me), but he's going through a lot (and he told me what it is), and he's been really busy. I didn't respond. 2 hrs later he texted me again and told me he totally thought we hit it off, he thinks I'm great. And that he hasn't had any time to himself lately. We are friends on FB, and lately he's been posting stuff about people being married and having kids and how they're stupid and he's just worried about his hobbies and himself. He's been posting a lot of stuff like that lately. He hasn't texted me since telling me we hit it off. My question is... is he just being nice or playing me... or is it possible that he really just isn't ready for a relationship, and he realized that after meeting me?


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What Guys Said 1

  • I think from the way you've described his behavior, he probably isn't the right type of guy for you anyways.


What Girls Said 1

  • i don't know he sounds kind of misleading but either way he isn't treating you the right way and I think you should just move on, you deserve better. you I and many other girls have been through such crap with these mixed signals kinds of guys, it's not worth the wasted time in the end.