I love him but I know it won't work, how do I be honest and tell him I want to have closure and move on?

When your scared to tell someone the truth in case you hurt them...

Then your scared you'll regret making the wrong decision in the first place...

We mutually broke up a month ago after a 4 year relationship and to tell you the truth, because of the lack of contact, I've been getting used to things the way they are now. There's no one else involved.

Thing is, when we got engaged we went to a wedding fair early this year and won dinner and champayne for 2 in a prize draw and expires next month so we agreed to use it for tomorrow and I know he's expecting a romantic reunion when we agreed this dinner is for closure. I've realized that I don't want to try again yet I still love him and feel sad about everything. I'm scared I'll upset him. Don't know how to behave tomorrow.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, this is one freebie I would skip. I think it is great that you are at peace with the decision and really feel good about your life as it stands, without him. You already recognize that he may not be in that same place. You are probably right. Seems the odds of both people being happy about a break-up run long. Usually one is not happy.

    Well, unfortunately eating dinner and drinking champagne together will be an awkward experience that will definitely make anyone who still has feelings lose it when they find out the other person has moved on. I don't think there is any great way to act other than be honest with him and don't try to soft sell it or overtalk it. Don't explain yourself. Just say that you are at peace with the break-up and leave it at that. The more you try to explain, the more the other person will probably try to talk you out of it.


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What Guys Said 2

  • If you know that he will be expecting a romantic reunion the best thing you could do is to talk to him and explain how you feel. Don't wait and try and do it over dinner, and honestly you may want to avoid the dinner all together. The truth is that a romantic dinner will give him the idea that there is a future still remaining, whether you have a talk with him before hand or not.

    As a guy who has been interested in an ex and a dating expert I have to say that when you have the talk and explain how you feel, he will most likely tell you how he knows you are just friends and that the dinner isn't anything romantic. The more he tries to convince you that it is "just friends" less likely he sees it as that.

    Justin Nutt, BSW, LMSW

    Dating and Relationship Expert, Therapist

    Author of The Good Guy, the Bad Guy, and the Ugly Truth.

    Creator of Changing Patterns Program

    Executive Director Acts of Random Kindness (ARK)


  • You've got to break it off, and fast. He doesn't deserve to be hurt that bad.


What Girls Said 2

  • The best way is to lay it all out in the open. His feelings are going to be hurt no matter how nicely you word things. He has feelings for you and wants things to be how they once were. If he tries to be affectionate let him know how you really feel.

    If you want to avoid the awkwardness of this all then decline his offer to see him again.

  • Don't go. You're only hurting him more if he had hope of working things out