No single SINGLE nice girls left!

Am I cursed?

There must be something wrong with me!

Always the same story. I meet a nice girl. I think I'm starting to develop a connection with her. I like her. I think she likes me. Finally, I get the courage to ask her our out...I say I'm going to take the plunge. But right before I do, she suddenly mentions she has a boyfriend. Then I'm confused. Like huh, what? I feel awkward. Should I walk away? Should I pretend I never had any feelings for her?

Same story for 10 years. I never met even one girl who I felt I clicked with who didn't already have a boyfriend. Not one. 10 years. Why am I so so so clueless!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • OMG! I could have written this! The exact same thing happens to me! (Im a 23 year old girl though) A couple of years ago I met a guy who I adored, he was amazing, we connected, he flirted a lot, we ended up knowing each other pretty well, and then after 6 months, he told me he had a girlfriend! I don't know why we do this though because I'm still single. I als ended up being afraid of getting to know someone because I don't want to be heartbroken again.

    And, by the way, I also feel that there are no single nice guys left. In the past couple of year, all the guys I met were in commited relationships. I would love to help you, but I'm just as clueless as you. People who are in relationships should wear a t shirt that says "Im taken", so this wouldn't happen to us!

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    • Thank you!

      I feel better knowing that at least someone here thinks I'm not crazy. And I've never gone 6 months without knowing, but I can definitely sympathize! Longest I went was 3 months. Usually it's a couple weeks or so, but it's always the same. 10 years of this.

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    • Yeah I know. I probably just need to find better ways to meet girls in general. It's so frustrating sometimes. It's like you are hunting for gold and you keep running into fools gold.

    • Don't believe for a second tht this man was unaware of the gibe between you you 2 nature gives us the tools to understand these sorts of things in order to find a partner. Especially in 6 months HE.WAS.AWARE tht there was somethin..he pulled you in just enough but not TOO much because he had you on reserve in case it didn't work out with his other girl, and somewhere in the mist of this he decided tht he would rather keep his girl than start something new with you or cheat

What Girls Said 6

  • Should I walk away?

    Probably best suited to walk away if you can only consider her romantically/sexually or don't want to become her friend under false pretenses while using her to get to her other friends.

    Should I pretend I never had any feelings for her?

    Probably better suited to get over your feelings for her as most likely they were shallow and based on little.

    Why am I so so so clueless!

    Perhaps because it's been 10 years yet you don't seem to immediately ask a gal if she has a boyfriend.

    Possibly more likely because you seem to meet one gal and wait around for you to connect with her rather than asking out gals based on attraction and seeing if there's potential for a connection between both of you.

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    • Said at its best +1

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    • @QA

      I said most likely that's not assuming someone's feelings are shallow that's thinking there's a high likelihood they are shallow over the low likelihood they aren't shallow.

      I doubt you know these gals deeply rather than you're attracted to them and find them pleasant no different to me than a guy seeing a gal in the street talking to her seeing she's not a b*tch and deciding to ask her out.

    • OK that makes sense. You're right, not like I'm crazy in love or anything.

      But these "shallow feelings" are not very common for me either. Plenty of girls are physically attractive, but very few move me to feel anything.

  • There are 7 billion people on this planet...idk you but I can tell you have too high of standards/expectations as far as the type of female you want...and how is it that you would have feelings for someone that you don't even know tht well? that you're not close to (i.e. Close enough to them to know basic things about their personal life such as the fact tht thy have a significant other!?) And I promise you if this is a CONSTANT thing half those women are lying to you thy don't have boyfriends/husbands thy just aren't buying what you're selling..meaning your game isn't sure tight...and this isn't a critique on your looks I have no clue what you look like bit none of tht changes the facts above...

    hopefully you don't take offense to this but 10 years means you need a hard reality check...

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    • Yeah, 7 billion on the planet but I sure as heck am not going to meet all of them even if I travel a lot (which I'm not) so that's faulty logic. And a large number of those people are wed by their families at birth, so they're never available. Just saying.

      Try to understand that I don't care about the "game" you speak of. All I'm looking for is a girl who feels the same way. Is that too high of an expectation?

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    • Also, the NYC comment was not just about culture, but numbers.

      You live in a city with millions of people very close together. Right now, I live in a town with only thousands of people. For every 100 single people you've met, you would only meet one single person here. Not to mention I'm sure that the percentage of single women is far lower here.

      Despite your high and mighty attitude, I think it's as simple as me not meeting single women.

    • Just move to another city, then you can stop making up excuses for yourself.

  • How about this, before you start investing feelings, ask her flat out if she's seeing anyone...

    There are some rare gems out there, you just have to figure what approach to take. :)

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  • When you decide to take the plunge, girls can always sense that. Because she already has a boyfriend, she wants to be honest with you, and save all this awkedness.

    Please understand that when a boy/guy likes a girl, he wants to sleep with her (and never consider commitment). It is in male's nature that they just can't help but are attracted to all female they see as "attractive" or "OK". Males always think women who are nice to them also want to have a close relationship with them. 99.999% are wrong.

    Women do not see man as friends easily. Of every 100 men they meet, they might be only interested in one, or none. But they smile to everyone, and can have many nice conversation with guys, because women are good at showing their care and understanding.

    If for 10 years the same thing happen to you, I'm afraid you will need to consider this (no offence):

    You may need to develope some outstanding qualities as a boyfriend or husband.

    I hate to say this, but women date/marry UP. If you have nothing to contribute to a relationship/marriage, and you keep chasing girls like supermodels, you will not even get a date.

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    • Hi, thank you for your opinions but I disagree about your assumption about boys. Sex is not the first thing on my mind when I meet a woman. I am past that. I just don't want to be alone for the rest of my life.

      I don't get dates because no girl I meet is single. The few single ones that I meet are psycho and a relationship would never work anyway. Or they are only looking for casual sex and don't want a serious relationship. That's not what I want.

    • I disagree with basically this whole thing. Guys aren't just mindless sex drones looking for a quick lay. And I don't know who you think you are that you wouldn't give 99 out of 100 guys the light of day, but you seem to be placing yourself on a rather high pedestal and placing men in the gutter.

    • Whoa you (biancaitian) seem like an expert despite your XPer ^_^

  • Did you know that just because a girl has a boyfriend doesn't mean she's "Off the Market" ? It's really only when she's married that you have no chance on earth. If you show feelings for her, she just may fall for you, deciding you were a better guy than who she was with. I am absolutely NOT suggesting that you have her cheat on her boyfriend, but just don't give up so easily. If you truly fall head over heels in love with a woman, you can choose to show your colors regardless of her being single or dating. As long as she isn't married, you have a chance.

    Also, believe it or not, there are single woman out there. They just seem to be hiding for some reason.. and I'm terribly sorry about that. I wish you the best of luck, please don't give up. If you're a genuinely nice guy, you will eventually find that right girl for you. ^_^

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    • I know. But it feels like bad karma to even want them to break up just so that I could have a chance. And karma is something you become intensely aware of when the universe is never doing things in your favor.

    • I respect your feelings. It's just something I believe. If I fell madly in love with a guy, I would let him know how I felt regardless of his relationship status (as long as he wasn't married) and see if he felt the same.. If he did, he would choose me over his girlfriend. Just an example. I've been in the situation as the girl to leave her boyfriend for a better catch, so I know what I'm talking about :D And I would never leave my current fiance for any other flirt. We're perfect for each other

  • why do you wait so long to find out? if you're interested in a girl that should be the very first thing you should investigate... whether she's actually available.

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    • How do you do that exactly? Do you think it is normal to ask a girl you just met if she has a boyfriend? Should I ask that before I even know anything about her? I don't want to give false expectations. I don't see girls asking guys if they have a girlfriend?

      Anyway I think it's more a problem of me not meeting any single girls than me waiting too long.

    • you don't have to ask directly, there are a million sneaky ways people employ...stalk her face book profile, talk to a mutual aquintance, slip it into conversation like it's a presumption "so what does your/her boyfriend think of that?"

      "spending the holidays with your boy friend this year?"

      this is a great way to force her or a friend to give you a answer without you actually asking anything...

    • So recent girl...no relationship status on Facebook, and mutual acquaintances thought she was single. That's usually the case actually. You are probably right that there are some smooth ways I could slip it into the conversation, but it's really hard thinking of them or I can't find the right opportunity.

What Guys Said 3

  • You should figure out if she's single sooner. Ask an innocent question like "where is your boyfriend at?" or "your boyfriend doesn't care if you go out by yourself?". You an ask that stuff on day one. There are nice single girls everywhere. You just need to wrk on your filter.

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    • Asking a girl if whether her boyfriend cares if she's out by herself, sounds really chauvinist to me. Don't you think? A lot of girls seem to have a safety net boyfriend, a guy who they don't even really spend much time with but keeps them from being single. But not my right to judge.

    • It's pretty innocent if you do it nonchalantly with a coy smile. I've never had a girl get get offended because I thought she was interesting enough to have a boyfriend already.

  • Some of them say they have a boyfriend when they actually don't. It's a way of letting you easy. Don't waste your time with girls like these, all they will do is f*** with your head and break you down, I've been there done that. If she says she has one, just get out of there don't waste any more time on her.

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    • Maybe but doubtful, I'm often introduced to the boyfriend. In the most recent case, it came up in such a way that I don't think she was lying because it was too random.

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    • You've come across as a friend to her and that's why she's never felt the need to mention him to you. Sorry dud she only sees you as a friend.

    • Oh probably, I know. It just sucks.

  • I totally know how you feel: link

    I know there are cool girls out there, they're so capable of it! They're just hard to find. That's why they're usually taken, when any guys are around a cool girl, they keep her around, worried they won't find another.

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