Why do we go back to people who hurt us?

So I ended up going back to my ex who hurt me. It was a really bad idea and yes I regret it. I've learned now that I deserve way better. My question is to girls or guys: why do you or why do you think people go back to people who hurt them?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Never accept any guy telling you that you don't deserve someone better. He is not respecting you and if he can say that, I don't think he ever will. You deserve to be with someone who will respect and honor you. This respectful new boyfriend should also be able to tell you when you are doing something that is disrespectful or out of line and explain it without turning into an argument. You should both be able to communicate and talk about issues and then decide to compromise and become better together without feeling ashamed or pressured.

    I think people sometime lose themselves to a stronger partner who wants to control them. Unfortunately women can find the strength and intensity an attractive trait. Think more highly of yourself and leave someone who puts you down in the dust. You will then be open to finding someone who knows how to treat you better.

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What Guys Said 7

  • It's obviously because they still have an emotional connection. It's better than not having someone to go back to.

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  • i don't.

    for you - it's called low self-esteem.

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  • I did once, then he hacked off my other arm :/

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  • Speak for yourself

    Some of us are not stupid

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  • Its just rather or not have you let go of that person who've hurt you.

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  • I, for one, do not, as I am not a masochist.

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  • People go back to that because they think heavily on the good feelings, not the bad.

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What Girls Said 3

  • The people who have the power to hurt you are the ones who matter(ed) the most, the ones you care(d) most deeply about, so it's always tempting to go back. Obviously, in a lot of cases it's not a good idea, but time and distance kind of dull the pain and allow you to be nostalgic about the good times before you got hurt...

    Me personally, I haven't gone back to an ex, but there are people in my life who I have gone back to after they hurt me. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. I think the most important thing to remember is that it's never going to be exactly like it was and you BOTH have to accept that. You also have to forgive without forgetting so you don't fall into the same bad pattern all over again, it's tough.

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  • Because even if he hurt you...you still must have had good times together and he must have at somepoint made you happy and you want it to be like that again!

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  • I went back because I was too scared to move forward and I let him convince me I didn't deserve any better. I thought love could change anything and that if I loved him enough and stuck around things would eventually get better. Eventually I got tired of his sh*t. Now he still calls and texts I just don't respond.

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