Feels like I'm fighting a losing battle as far as dating goes, your thoughts?

OK I'm not going to sit here and whine (much) about my girl problems or blame my problems on the girls I've met, but I'm just gonna come out and say this.

I've met about 10 girls total in the past year and it'd just won't work into a relationship either because of me or her. Some kept secrets from me, some friend zoned, and admittedly, I didn't like a few girls as anything but friends also. I consider myself to be a good guy. I understand that girls like to talk, especially about problems through my 3 sisters and I like to believe that chivalry is something that is nice to practice. But idk. When I meet a girl, I put physical thoughts to the back of my mind until I know her cause I'm looking for my first relationships. It's not cause I'm unattractive (the girls I meet say I look cute or have bright eyes before we split upon some odd way or another) but I think I'm catching on that there is a friendly element to being "cute" and being hot or handsome. Physically, I'm just lacking a larger body structure and some mild acne but I keep reassuring myself that girls aren't that shallow to ignore someone cause of that.

Any how I'm thinking of just staying single or becoming a PUA. I'm shy but I've noticed girls can't resist subtle nonverbal messages compared to "you have nice eyes" as an opener -_- to me it seems that girls in my local area are just shallow or secretive about things that they shouldn't be keeping secrets from to avoid breaking peoples hearts after you know her. I'm not saying I'm perfect either though, some girls like me and tell me but I can sense there is no backbone or a sophisticated personality.

I'm probably being too idealistic or picky on what type of personality I want in a girl, but idt I'm not so bad or hard on it. At least I acknowledge it may be a fault of mine but still. An 18 year old virgin who never had a first date - I'm wondering what I'm doing wrong? I plan on starting to go to clubs in college cause I guess I'd have to settle with a girl who likes screaming yolo when she buys a Sam Adams... At least for a night, "the one" doesn't like to live where I am :p

Anyhow what do you think I'm doing wrong? I think I'm being too nice and girls are seeing that as me being a sensitive wuss but it's just me believing in being I don't know polite! I'm not complaining cause I feel like I should just stay single and becoming one of those pricks that hit on girls. Sounds typical and trendy on GaG for a nice guy to say he is changing but I didn't meet 10 girls in one year by looking at my toes. Just tell me if I'm doing something wrong that might be hurting my chances on an actual relationship cause I'm always excited at the thought of one and I can be romantic, but I just can't seem to find a girl I'm crazy about and when I do, there is some odd secret like she is dying my best friend without telling anyone -_-

Thanks for reading this behemoth and be honest! I'm open minded to your opinions and advice :) Seek for Wisdom, Live by Virtue


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What Girls Said 1

  • Nothing wrong with having an image of the perfect girl, very few people have a clue of what they want. But it sounds to me like your only seeing the bad in some of these girls. Maybe they are complet and total b****** but maybe you just aren't getting to see through their 'lack of personality'. If you really are a one girl kinda guy, then stick it out, I swear we're not all bad... Though it may not hurt either to toss yourself out there a little bit, girls can tell when you're genuinely a bad guy, and that's obviously not possible in your case.

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    • The girls that I rejected/friend zoned just had something that I couldn't see working long term. One girl always agreed with me and then contradicted - come on girl, think with your own head and stick with it. Another one was using me to get to my friend, and then he broke her heart by cheating on her. She came back to me and I told her we could be friends but I can't deal with knowing of her previous disloyalty when I was interested. And "toss yourself out there" can you elaborate on that?

What Guys Said 1

  • Well I just saw under 18, so all I can say is there's nothing for you to be losing yet. You're still so young!

    If you're still having this problem when you turn 40, then there might be a problem.

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    • Hahaha I'm 18 in 4 days. (no! My childhood!) I'm just wondering if I'm taking the wrong approach or something. For how long the description is, I feel I'd need to give out far more information but come on 10 girls in one year and nothing :\ Just figure I'm doing something wrong or maybe it's just the environment I'm in, but it'd be nice to fix it now instead of waiting till I'm 40. Only Steve Carell pulled off being a 40 year old virgin :p

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