Do you approve of your boyfriend/girlfriend talking to the opposite gender on the phone after you go to bed.

Do you approve of your boyfriend/girlfriend talking to the opposite gender on the phone after you go to bed? You going to bed and them staying up...Is it an insecurity?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Insecurity or not... I won't stand it. I can talk to myself all day about it but I think I am just not emotionally mature enough for that, if it is one person, consistently she is on the phone to everynight.

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What Guys Said 6

  • not at all. My girlfriend and I have developed a relationship heavy in trust and non-judgment. We know each others' ethics and behaviors well enough to determine if something might be up. She has male and female friends, as do I. If I trust her, I see no reason to suffocate her. She hasn't given me a reason not to trust her and I haven't given her a reason not to trust me.

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    • What do you mean suffocate her? What you are saying is your are completely fine with her doing this even when you live together?

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    • If you're going to demand an explanation from someone who feels horrible, you're not going to get any sort of explanation. Gentle is not a synonym for submissive. You search for a thousand answers on a thousand forums that gets you what you want the way you want it...but you can't always have your cake and eat it too. A relationship is a give/take partnership. If you're not willing to go the extra mile to talk with him and solve the problem, then there's nothing I or anyone else can do for you.

    • Who feels horrible? He does? Not hardly. There is one thing as talking, but another as kissing someone's ass and being gentle with them. Not doing it. Sorry to be a hard ass bitch but I WILL NOT kiss anyone's ass.

  • It is obvious that he doesn't feel he can talk to you about whatever it is he is talking about. Not good situation.

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  • yes it's an insecurity. If you have a reason not to trust him then get out of the relationship.

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    • Can you clarify that? It's okay for her to stay up in the night and talk to other guys? What's wrong with coming to bed with you? Maybe they are insecure and need to get reassurance about the relationship? Talking dirty to each other?

    • Well to me I would never be in a relationship with someone I didn't trust to talk to a man after I went to bed and I don't think other people should either. Now to me, if you have a good reason not to trust your boyfriend to talk to a woman after you go to bed then that's a reason to leave. If you have no good reason to suspect infidelity then your accusations and suspicions will breed bitterness on both sides. I obviously would prefer her to come to bed with me and if your boyfriend is talking dirty, end it

  • Yes. There has to be trust, or the relationship is doomed.

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    • So the same question...why do they have to talk to the opposite gender instead of spending time with you? You mean to tell me you have no jealousy or insecurity there?

  • Approve? I'm not that controlling. It could be for any reason too.

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    • You are fine with her calling guys up when you go to bed when you guys LIVE TOGETHER? That's just asking for trouble allowing her to do that.

  • It's an insecurity. I don't care who they talk to. They are free to talk to whomever they wish, whenever they wish. I'm not that controlling, nor do I care that much.

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    • Ok but why do they have to talk to other guys? All hours of the night?

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    • No, I never said that. But you're love of arguing with any male will compel you to lie to yourself about what I've actually said.

      You really are a man hater.

    • no not a male hater. I only stand up for what I believe is right and it seems that all men think alike. :)

What Girls Said 2

  • I have no issue with him doing this. Why should I care what he does when he's by himself. I trust him. The only girl he might talk to after we hang up is his mother. We end our phone calls around midnight. When I go to bed, I go to bed. I'm out in like, 3 seconds. If, however, he wanted to call his sisters or any of his female friends, I know they'd just talk about typical friend things.

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    • when you live together you are okay with this? We are living together. Why can't he come lay on the bed with me or whatever instead of talking to other girls?

    • Well sure, if we lived together, then it'd be an issue, but we don't. So it's not.

  • It depends on what he's talking about, for how long and which girl it is, I def would not like it if it was his ex or if this girl gave me a bad feeling. I would probably mention it to him it makes me uncomfortable but he can do whatever he wants.

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    • But WHY do they have to talk to other people of the opposite gender? I personally won't have it and if he needs to do that then he doesn't need me.

    • If they are just friends then there is nothing to worry about. Do you have any guy friends? If it really is that big of a problem then maybe you need to move on and find someone else. It does sound a little insecure that you don't want him to talk to any women. Have you and him had a problem with infidelity?

    • I'm sorry but a guy and girl are not friends that talk all hours of the night. How the hell can someone just disregard their boyfriend/girlfriend that is right there in the house, call someone of the opposite gender and talk all hours of the night. If they think that I am going to have sex or lay with someone after they talk to another female...NOT HAPPENING. Actually I have enough respect for him that I would not talk to other guys on the phone. Infiedlity or not...it's only a matter of time with this.

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