Anxiety disorder & dating prospects

I have a boyfriend, but have an idea that it is slowly falling apart due to differences and a career change on his part that is going to make him move a few hours away.

Unfortunately, I started having panic attacks about a year and a half ago and was lucky to find someone who would tolerate that at all. Now, I can't see myself as being appealing to date. I've gained 10 lbs, fear travel and generally feel limp and dull. Even looking at men I find sexually unattractive makes me think that they wouldn't really want to be with me, much less men I'm attracted to. I don't think it's a confidence thing, it's more of a "reality" thing. I'm also turning 30 this year ...

Should I just be content to live a single life (I would be "fairly" happy, minus the celibacy) or do you think there is something I can work on changing, quickly?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Should I just be content to live a single life (I would be "fairly" happy, minus the celibacy) or do you think there is something I can work on changing, quickly?

    Probably best suited to be content to live a single life unless you're attracted to older men and are willing to lose 10 lbs and work on your anxiety disorder to get a guy 10 years older than who fits the bare minimum of your relationship criteria and who wishes he was with a gal in her 20s.

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What Guys Said 2

  • i really don't know what's wrong with being single at 30. I'm 30+ and I'm living a dream.

    you still have cca 7 years to start a family if that's your thing. plenty of time.

    did you see a doctor for those panic attacks?

    who cares about those 10lbs? you can lose that pretty quick - two months it you take it lightly. start TOMORROW. get a gym membership, start with cardio, some weights, healthy food. is this such a problem? in a year or two if you're gonna keep doing it your body will be to die for.

    btw women over 30 are the real material. chick in their 20 are immature kids. they are good enough just for banging, not for real thing.

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    • I do so-so on the gym/eating healthy ... but like I said, I'm having a hard time throwing myself into anything. The idea of having to compulsively diet and exercise to make my partner happy for 40 more years is a bit daunting ... the idea of living just to meet my own needs and wants seems to be more and more appealing. But that could just be the "control freak" aspect of panic disorder speaking. I've been working for the past 3 months with a therapist, but I don't think it's working well...

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    • Good question! I really don't know.

    • maybe you should work on that first, then start thinking about men.

  • I think you should really seek help towards these panic attacks, medication if needed, and not settle for being single!

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    • It wouldn't be "settling" like I'd be pining for it ... It'd be like choosing between two things that are both "ok." I am working on the panic attacks, but it seems to take a while.

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