Should I insist with this guy or should I back off?

Okay, so we've known each other for several years now. It was a time when we hung out everyday (we were 13-14) and we were flirting all the time (well... kind of, we didn't really know what we were doing back then). Everybody thought we were together, except us xD... and then we've started high school and didn't see each other at all (or just once or twice) for 2 years. One day he just sends me an I'm and asks me how have I been and everything and I just casually tell him that we should meet soon to catch up. So the very next day he calls me and tells me he is nearby, do I wanna come down? I did that and we started hanging out again almost everyday for about one month. He kept telling me I was beautiful and he acted really nice around me, nicer than with other people (he is generally perceived as an... how do I put this... a**hole). He was very protective and all that, he would put his arms around me whenever he had the opportunity and so on. Again, everybody thought it was about time for us to be together, but he didn't do anything, even though I responded to his flirts and gave him as many hints as I could. One day, we just... stopped seeing each other. He was the one who kept calling me to go out and when he didn't anymore, I thought it was my turn. So I tried to take him out a couple of times and he just refused, giving me stupid reasons. Well, here I am now, 3 years later during which many things happened - I was in a relationship with his deskmate, he was with another girl, in between we met at a few parties where we again flirted and he was again very nice - I finally get the guts to tell him straight. A common friend got us out and he told this friend he knew I liked him, but he doesn't wanna hurt me or some other cliche. Anyhow, that night I stayed at his place and he asked me if it was true that I liked him in the past. I said yes and he said he liked me too, even when we were little (he didn't want to tell me for how long). He was jokingly saying that it is my fault because I look so good and because I am like this... and that I should have said something back then... and when I told him why didn't he, he said that he knows if this thing doesn't work, we won't talk again and he doesn't want that. For me it is bullsh*t because we were never so close as friends, what is there to lose? Anyway, he asked me if I still like him and I said that I don't really know. Now I regret that, but his answers were kind of a turn off. I still think he likes me and he does so many contradictory things. I feel like the only way to get over this whole thing which seems to never come to an end is to try and have a relationship with him... So the question is - what should I do? Should I tell him that I still like him? Should I insist? Or should I back off because he clearly doesn't want a relationship with me?

*Thanks for reading this whole mess and sorry for my eventual grammar errors.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Probably should back off just a bit, at least to take things slow.

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What Girls Said 1

  • i mean he does have a point. if you are really good friends maybe he doesn't wanna risk getting serious then having a bad break up or something. I think you should stay friends or let him eventually change his mind.

    -A

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