Who pays on first dates?

Im pretty new to the dating game.. My and my past boyfriend were together for 5 years and we would always split the bill or I'd pay. All my friends would ask t he doesn't pay for me and how it's expected for the guy to pay. Anyway for some reason I'm very awkward bout guys paying but I want to start dating again and pretty much I just wanna know are the guys expected to pay?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm from a very old fashioned southern family. That being said, in the beginning the guy pays... Always period end of story. It's the chivalrous thing to do.

    Further a long in the relationship, especially at 5 years, I mean at that point your financials are almost kind of tied together, things can be split.

    I still prefer to pay for dates in long term relationships, but sometimes it's nice if she offers to pay for coffee or something. All too often girls come to expect to be paid for which I don't think is right. In offering to pay every now and then it reassures us that it is appreciated that we do pay and not just expected.

    Sometimes what I like to do if the girl has a decent sense of humor. A lot of the time females will start reaching for their purse to make it look like they intend to pay, but expecting the guy to say something. I will just sit there and watch her reach for her purse and laugh awkwardly as she freezes upon me not saying anything.

    Either way he should pay in my opinion.

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What Guys Said 18

  • Whoever asks out on the date first. Unfortunately many girls think that whether they ask first or not, that guys should always pay, and this I don't agree with. If she asks me out, she should pay. But then again, how often to girls ask guys out? So basically that means the guy pays...unless she asks out first...which by the way girls don't often do, which means that guys usually do the asking, hence the reason why they pay...because girls don't usually ask them out...because maybe they don't want to pay...which is why guys always take the initiative...because society made us that way..

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  • If he asked you out on a date, he should pay. You're giving him a piece of your time; the least he can do is pay the bill.

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  • Whoever asks and chooses the venue does.

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  • To play it safe do the "check dance" grab it and offer to help/or pay (your choice) and if he isn't a complete ass, he'll take the check and you come off good.

    But the guys usually pays first date

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  • If you respect yourself, then you don't expect the male to pay. You appreciate when he does, but you bo no means expect him to do anything more than pay his share.

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  • Most guys that pay will either take the initiative and make sure they cover your bill before you ever have to get around to pulling your wallet out for it. If he insists on paying thank him for it and offer to pay for dessert later on. You won't feel indebted and he knows you're a classy lady.

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  • We'll see if there is a first date. I'll spend time getting to know her as a person before I make any investments in a meal. I don't trust easily after seeing people be used, and being in that situation before. I wouldn't expect me to dump a lot of cash out on the first date. She has her 'equality' and feminist mob behind her, she can pay for herself.

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  • Whoever asked the other person out.

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  • The guy pays the first few dates

    The guy pays on dating anniversaries and milestones

    Other times:

    They can split or alternate

    The partner that has significantly more money pays more times but is being subtle about it

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  • If you ask a guy out, you pay. If he asks you out, he pays.

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  • Depends how I'm feeling in the moment, it's no use being attached to social conditioning.

    One or the other may pay for it, since it's a hassle to split it.

    It's normally agreed that the one who didn't pay, will pay for the next date.

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  • a guy should pay on the first date

    but you can split on the following dates

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  • Guys always, I guess so. And I don't care if I always pay the bill

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  • The guy usually pays.

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  • both people do...

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  • "All my friends would ask t he doesn't pay for me and how it's expected for the guy to pay. "

    It's ironic that women fought so hard to break old age gender roles, but want to stiff men with them.

    If you want to follow their logic, be sure you're equal about it and make him sandwiches and clean his dishes.

    Do what YOU feel is right.

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  • i'd say whoever asks.

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  • Guys always ( at least I do)

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What Girls Said 11

  • A lot of people (guys and girls) still expect the guy to pay for everything.

    I feel weird about it too, I just don't think it makes any sense. Why wouldn't I pay for the food *I* eat, MY movie ticket, etc.? Even if the date was his idea, it's not like it's such a burden for me to go out with him that he "owes" me, haha.

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  • I almost never expect a guy to pay. Maybe for the first date when it's just a movie or something. But me and my ex always split the bill. I wouldn't feel okay with letting him pay all the time.

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  • If the guy asked me out on a date then I would expect him to pay. If we continued dating then I would start to offer splitting the bill or trading off on who pays for the date.

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  • Whoever asks the other one out, or whoever suggests it.

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  • The guy pays on the first date, I think it should be Dutch beyond that unless either party wants to pay.

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  • Whoever's idea it was for the date should pay. My boyfriend pays most of the time because he always wants to go out. If I mention wanting to get something to eat or doing something, then I'll pay.

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  • I offer to split the bill. But I if he insists I don't fight him on it and make the situation awkward for no reason.

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  • Whoever asked

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  • He does

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  • Don't just show up and expect him to pay...

    Offer to pay or split then he should say No and insist to pay for you. At least in the beginning, usually the guy pays. Maybe you can offer to buy ice cream if he insists on paying for dinner/movie, etc.

    My friend has been going out with her boyfriend for nearly 7 years and she said they went out to lunch the other day and he actually offered to pay for her lunch, she said No, that's alright I'll pay for mine. I asked her why that was such a surprise and she said that the entire time they have dated, they always simply paid for their own--- which I find kind of weird. She said she wished he would have insisted on paying, but that he's getting better for at least offering.

    I think after 7 years, a boyfriend should take more initiative! lol!

    but yeah I htink the guy should pay but I will offer and never expect it. Always bring your own $

    help with mine please? link

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  • i'd say ugly women pay for their dates.

    beautiful women sit back and relax.

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