Long story short, I had been in a relationship with a girl, whom I did fell for. It was one of my serious relationships, When you don't meet people like that that often and fall that hard. Well she broke up with me telling m that she was going to marry another guy after 2 months of knowing that guy (because I was not ready, and it was a time for her to start a family). And telling me that she loved him. For a half of the year I was in a pretty bad shape, and I met a different girl, and started to forget about that ex. But that ex showed up telling me that they split, and wanted to chat with me, etc. Telling me that she really liked to talk to me.
And I started to think about where it might end, as I don't wanna be somebody's plan B. And about the girls that ex really is different from other girls, beautiful. But the girl whom I am dating is different in terms of character, in many ways. Therefore I am puzzled, what should I do about that ex, do I stay a friend to her, or stop any contact, just don't know?
Most Helpful Girl
Looks like you are not ready for relationships in general.. You need get into, what I call "The Intent Mode" of finding how who the "Real" you is, or the "Real" you that you want to become and work on that; once you become that person, everything else will come to you. Right now you are living on the "survival mode" in other words you are not putting too much thought of why you have needs and why you pursuit to fulfill those needs. Below I provide you with two quotes for digestion (contemplate on):
"God/Destiny will lead you to your needs, if you have distorted needs you shall live in distortion (gadnyny)."
"Find clarity and understanding and search for courage to apply it - that is true wisdom (gadnynj)"
Well truth be told most people come with luggage in order to avoid that one almost has to have a PHD in psychology. Mainly, my suggestion to you is to find "YOU" and then have the courage (self esteem) to be able to "Put your cards on the table" when and only when a acquaintance moves from a simple platonic friendship into something more. If the person accepts your terms, great, if not, end the romance and move along to find a more compatible person. In this area I suggest you read up on the nature of men and women. One last thing; nothing in life is guaranteed.
People in our social order have "the right to change their minds" just as you have that right. In difficult compromises either a person is willing to accept the terms (though that does mean that their nature can handle it; they might to compromise out of fear of losing the companionship out of emotional or financial need), or not accept the terms that you put on the table. Of course everything I say goes both ways.
Here is the thing; in all reality only you can make happy, and on the other side of the relationship; the only way a partner is happy is if that person is able to make him or herself happy. Relationships are formed for companionship not so that one person makes the other person happy. Sure; individual can choose to do a little something here and there to bring happiness, but no individual should expect happiness to be had by the hand of another person. These are unrealistic expectations. Maturity my dear, maturity. Read up on becoming mature; but do take your time. Finally, my last advice: "Never be too good for your own self; that is self destructive." Good luck.1