We want to be together, but can we ever?

Sooo here is the story...

I dated a girl for a year, pretty close, but she's little crazy lol but nothing out of control (maybe lol)

So I met her friend about halfway through our relationship, and really clicked with her.

So after I broke up with my girl, I met the friend out about a month later...and we've been chilling ever since. Bout 4 months and are really close, pretty much together.

But if my ex found out she would go crazy and flip out, and try to ruin this girls life

We want to be together, but can we ever? don't know what to do..makes me so mad!

Thanks all!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Your best bet is to come clean, the sooner its out in the open the sooner you will see what may or may not happen and the sooner people may get over it. My opinion is for you, not the girl, to go to her and explain what happend. As crazy as it is girls are always more calm/less emotional with the guy then she is with the girl. If you both go then she may feel like you are both throwing this at her all at once and flaunting your relationship at the same time. Explain to her that the breakup between the two of you had to do with you to and not this girl and tell her it wasn't until well after you broke up that you two started this relationship. If you make it about her and not about you and this new girl then the anger/hurt may be deflected from you and your new relationship and more directed at you two and what went wrong. I don't know if this will work but what I do know is the longer you two carry on without her knowing the worse its going to be once she finds out.

    • I totally agree with all your points ;) But my current is VERY scared of that. She lives in a small community, and would be devastated if things went bad. She would be completly outcast from her social circle..

      Is my only other option just to let her go?

    • Like realistically if we decide not to come forward, we can't honestly sneak around forever! AHHHHHHHHH


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What Girls Said 5

  • Hmm.. well if her friend is really close to her .. then they must talk about it , maybe even with you present. But if she is just a mere friend , then its not really her business , and what can she do to her ? if she will get violent or anything ,the police will help you out !

    • It's a tough sitch! I don't want to like ruin this girls life since they are in the same social circle ya know..maybe I should just leave the decision with her and lay low and keep it moving?

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    • I hear you trust me I do..it is just HARD I feel for the girls social life ya know? UGH I wish it was easier!

    • Yea I understand .. but well if she really wants you , she ll give up the world :)

  • Well that's rough. But are you sure she'd freak out? Assuming she is your age, I'd like to hope she contains a little bit more maturity. Fact is she could have moved on too, and if she's a descent human, would appreciate that you guys are together because it make you happy, not to spite her. And if your willing to walk away... then this obviously wasn't worth it to you to begin with...

    • Im 30 my ex is 25..She is REAL fiery, and will most def FLIP OUT lolol I wish she didn't care, and wish she would be like go be happy, but I just know her ya know? I am def. willing to fight for it, but I would hate for it to turn into like a chore to be together ya know?

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    • Decided to let her go...

      It sucks but I'm gonna be alright, Just have to keep myself busy! HAHA :-/ Keep working on myself ya know?

    • ya I know. good luck man.

  • well whocares she's an ex get over it date her friend and move on. so what if your ex doesn't like it ex's are in the past

    • I WISH it were that easy...

    • are you a man or a mouse don't let your ex control you stand up to her. It sounds like you are scared of her. my ex was controling for 5 years then I meet someone who I was with for 18 months and I was heart broken when we split up and I tried to remain friends with him, however it didn't happen. He finally got in a relationship with someone else I was heartbroken again, but I am glad his happy and do you really think she's care about you and about your feelings if she met someone else I doubt

    • I am 100% a man! I WANT her to meet someone! And yes that's right that is something to think about about the situation being the other way around..

      If I were in my current girls shoes, I don't know if I would act differently..i NEVER talk to my ex anymore, but know that she DOES have the ability to make everyone hate this chick. Sad but true. It's just sad that that is the way their social circle is.

      I thought about it yesterday, and just move on. I would be down for the fight, but..

  • If you are happy with this girl, you need to take the chance and give it a try. Your ex would probably flip out regardless of the next girl you date...

    • HAHA very true! But this one is so close to home for her, and I would feel terrible for my current ya know? I might just leave it in my current girls hands and if she wants it to happen, she will..just tough.

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    • Pretty much gave up the fight

    • Well, if you feel like that was the best decision then so be it. Don't beat yourself up over it, there is another girl out there waiting for you to sweep her off her feet!

  • would you care if it was the other way round I honestly doubt you ex would

    • I mean what can I really do. I've said my peace, but can't force her to be down with it ya know. I said what I had to say, and let her know I can A LOT about her, but there comes a point where you have to be realistic I guess..I'll just lay back and hope she's finds someone who makes her happy. I'm cool with that.

What Guys Said 1

  • Don't be daft lol. Do you really wanna give control over your destiny to your ex ? If you two are happy screw her, do not give her the authority to make or break you !

    • Dude trust me I don't care, I could care LESS bout my ex, but they def. hang in the same social circle..and she'd def. make her life hell..it's an insanely tough situation. Should I just lay low and leave the ball in my currents court?

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    • Lol. Grow a pair !

    • Dude honestly I am FINE. I am down to do it up, I could give a F about my ex. Ultimately this girls dec. Can't force her ya know... I let it be known how I felt, didn't act weak at all.